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What are important qualities of a good supervisor(boss)? Why these qualities are important. v.1

What are important qualities of a good supervisor(boss)? Why these qualities are important. v. 1
It is irrefutable that social media has become an inevitable part of our life now. Though it is debatable whether it is good for us or not, I personally believe that it is positive for the modern society, and I will further discuss my argument. First and fore more, websites such as Facebook and Instagram has made finding and contacting anyone facile. Consequently, this world has turned into a global village where a person is just a click away. For instance, many elderly people tend to find their long lost school friends on these platforms and can potentially meet them to have a great time and company. Secondly, these websites have a myriads of social group which are easily accessible to anyone part of the platform and people can interact with anyone having the same interests. I think that this is a fantastic way of sharing knowledge, even with people and professionals sitting in any part of the world. For example, various cooking groups are available on Facebook for people keenly interested in it. These groups include both professionals and amateurs who can share new recipes of various cuisines and help explore new dishes. Thirdly, websites such as Tik Tok also provide a platform for unknown artists to come into the limelight. Artists can showcase their talent and can become an overnight sensation. In conclusion, I think that social media is good for the modern society because it not only a great source of information, but it helps people to be more social by making it easy for them to contact their old acquaintances.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has become an inevitable part of our life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Though it is debatable whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for us or not, I
personally
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for the modern society, and I will
further
discuss my argument.

First
and fore more, websites such as Facebook and Instagram has made finding and contacting anyone facile.
Consequently
, this world has turned into a global village where a person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click away.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to find their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lost
school friends on these platforms and can
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them to have a great time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Secondly
, these websites have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a myriad" or simply "myriads"?
a myriads
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
group which are
easily
accessible to anyone part of the platform and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can interact with anyone having the same interests. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a fantastic way of sharing knowledge, even with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and professionals sitting in any part of the world.
For example
, various cooking groups are available on Facebook for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
keenly
interested in it. These groups include both professionals and amateurs who can share new recipes of various cuisines and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
explore new dishes.

Thirdly
, websites such as
Did you mean "TikTok" (= social networking app)?
Tik Tok
also
provide a platform for unknown artists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the limelight. Artists can showcase their talent and can become an overnight sensation.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the modern society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a great source of information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
by making it easy for them to contact their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
acquaintances.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What are important qualities of a good supervisor(boss)? Why these qualities are important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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