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If you were asked to choose one movie that has influenced your thinking, which one would you choose? why? what was especially impressive about the movie? v.2

If you were asked to choose one movie that has influenced your thinking, which one would you choose? why? what was especially impressive about the movie? v. 2
Modern technology has revolutionized the way we communicate and exchange data with others, this has been a boon in many ways, on the other hand, many drawbacks need to be addressed. This essay will suggest the problems associated with the rise of cutting edge technologies and put forth solutions to alleviate them. Real-world interactions and in-person relationships have been steeply declining in the past decade, thus given rise to social issues such as loneliness and depression. To illustrate this issue, a survey was conducted by Google with various focus groups and the results were surprising nearly 200, 000 people are tormented by loneliness and depression. Another problem is that people are more interested in showcasing only their successes and not their failures on Instagram which has given rise to a false sense of accomplishment for others who are giving up when they are met with adversities rather than marching forward in spite of failures. To curb these aforementioned problems, First, people need to practice spending one day a week without using any technologies this will help achieve better real-life relationships by involving in outdoor activities. Second, people should understand that people post their achievements on social media and not their failures, it is imperative that people should not be disheartened by other's accomplishments instead focus on their own goals by working hard and embracing failures along their way to success. To conclude, Technology has largely enhanced our lives for the good, but has also left us with something bad to ponder upon, it is of prime importance that we don’t get carried away by the false sense of accomplishments and virtual relationships instead pursue a holistic and ubiquitous life.
Modern
technology
has revolutionized the way we communicate and exchange data with others, this has been a boon in
many
ways,
on the other hand
,
many
drawbacks need to
be addressed
. This essay will suggest the problems associated with the rise of cutting edge
technologies
and put forth solutions to alleviate them.

Real-world interactions and in-person relationships have been
steeply
declining in the past decade,
thus
given
rise to social issues such as loneliness and depression. To illustrate this issue, a survey
was conducted
by Google with various focus groups and the results were surprising
nearly
200, 000
people
are tormented
by loneliness and depression. Another problem is that
people
are more interested in showcasing
only
their successes and not their failures on Instagram which has
given
rise to a false sense of accomplishment for others who are giving up when they
are met
with adversities
rather
than marching forward
in spite of
failures.

To curb these aforementioned problems,
First
,
people
need to practice spending one day a week without using any
technologies
this will
help
achieve better real-life relationships by involving in outdoor activities. Second,
people
should understand that
people
post their achievements on social media and not their failures, it is imperative that
people
should not
be disheartened
by other's accomplishments
instead
focus on their
own
goals by working
hard
and embracing failures along their way to success.

To conclude
,
Technology
has
largely
enhanced our
lives
for the
good
,
but
has
also
left
us with something
bad
to ponder upon, it is of prime importance that we don’t
get
carried away by the false sense of accomplishments and virtual relationships
instead
pursue a holistic and ubiquitous life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you were asked to choose one movie that has influenced your thinking, which one would you choose? why? what was especially impressive about the movie? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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