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Computers are increasingly used in education. In which areas do you think are computers more important and in which areas are teachers more important? v.1

Computers are increasingly used in education. In which areas do you think are computers more important and in which areas are teachers more important? v. 1
The present era is called the era of technology and computers are extensively used in all the sectors including education. With the increasing presence of computers and the Internet in education, many believe that the traditional teaching method will soon become obsolete and computer-based teaching method will become the mainstream education system. I personally believe that computer and technology without any doubt have accelerated the education system but they will never replace teachers and both computers and teachers have distinctive roles to play in education. It is true that in some areas of education, computers could be more important than teachers. For instance, in distance learning system, a computer can become more important than a teacher. However, we must remember that teachers are still important to run the education system effectively. Second, computers are connected to a vast network called the Internet and they are better than teachers in terms of reference, research and knowledge distribution. When a teacher has knowledge on a particular course or subject, a computer connected to the Internet can offer almost any information to a student in any field of study. Again, computers can process a huge amount of data per second and thus can be more helpful to students while conducting research work or in scientific experiments. They are also more important while evaluating a student’s performance. Finally, computers can be better equipped with recorded lectures and could be more helpful to students than their teachers. On the contrary, teachers are still considered as the backbone of our education system. Computers might handle a large amount of data, assess our exam papers more accurately or connect us to the world, but they cannot teach us discipline, morality or value of time. Thus a teacher not only teaches us important lessons from academic books, they actually instil most important human qualities among us. Teachers are important to inspire students, teach them morality and all the good qualities of life where computers have almost zero contributions in doing so. Teachers are more important in explaining intricacies of academic and personal life and can become great mentors for students. Finally, their role to evaluate us and guide us in life is incomparable. In short, I believe that computers are important in education where a large amount of data processing or automation is required while teachers are important to inspire us, guide us and infuse good qualities among us.
The present era
is called
the era of technology and computers are
extensively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in all the sectors including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. With the increasing presence of computers and the Internet in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the traditional teaching method will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
obsolete and computer-based teaching method will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. I
personally
believe that computer and technology without any doubt have accelerated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will never replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and both computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have distinctive roles to play in education.

It is true that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, computers could be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
For instance
, in distance learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, a computer can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
effectively
. Second, computers
are connected
to a vast network called the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Internet and
they are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in terms of reference, research and knowledge distribution. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has knowledge on a particular course or subject, a computer connected to the Internet can offer almost any information to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in any field of study. Again, computers can process a huge amount of data per second and
thus
can be more helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
while conducting research work or in scientific experiments. They are
also
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
while evaluating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
performance.
Finally
, computers can be better equipped with recorded lectures and could be more helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than their teachers.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
still
considered as the backbone of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. Computers might handle a large amount of data, assess our exam papers more
accurately
or connect us to the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot teach us discipline, morality or value of time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teaches us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
lessons from academic books, they actually
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
human qualities among us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, teach them morality and all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities of life where computers have almost zero contributions in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in explaining intricacies of academic and personal life and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
great mentors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Finally
, their role to evaluate us and guide us in life is incomparable.

In short, I believe that computers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
where a large amount of data processing or automation
is required
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to inspire us, guide us and infuse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities among us.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Computers are increasingly used in education. In which areas do you think are computers more important and in which areas are teachers more important? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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