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Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this? v.7

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this? v. 7
Advancement in technology has been undoubtedly widened the scope of organisational establishment. Global businesses are evolving exponentially in multiple upcoming nations of the world. This essay will analyse, the benefits and the drawbacks of this scenario. Firstly, establishment of companies, especially in raising countries works as a catalyst in Individual growth, and also Society as a whole. People get benefitted as they possess multiple employment opportunities and, thereby families are becoming stronger in terms of finance. On the other hand, potential companies render a huge advantage for geographies, as regional infrastructure can be built with the support of such organisations. To illustrate, Times reported that, In India there is a dramatic variation in per capita income and also development rate between 2010 and 2020 as multiple overseas companies have been established since then. Thus, growth in multinational companies in a region is a boon not only for the masses but also for the community development. On the contrary, these companies are raising issues such as health problems and dissolving of family bonds. Individuals tend to become workaholic as there is a lot of pressure at work, as a result, they are unable to invest time in taking care of their health, and thereby are prone to several health problems including diabetes, BP and many more. Also, family relations are not as strong as previous, as both the parents are unable to spend quality time with their children as they are occupied with their own Job commitments. For example, WHO reported that the average health rate has decreased significantly compared to the previous and the current decade as individuals are unable to maintain a proper diet for themselves and their family, and are prone to stress due to modern lifestyle. Therefore, MNC’s indirectly hinder the personal bonds and deteriorate health conditions of public. In conclusion, although the establishment of global enterprises is overwhelming as they yield factors such as money and luxury, they are also hazardous as they are root cause of adverse health conditions and poor Family bonds among mankind.
Advancement in technology has been
undoubtedly
widened the scope of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
establishment. Global businesses are evolving
exponentially
in multiple upcoming nations of the world. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
, the benefits and the drawbacks of this scenario.

Firstly
, establishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
especially
in raising countries works as a catalyst in Individual growth, and
also
Society as a whole.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
as they possess multiple employment opportunities and, thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are becoming stronger in terms of finance.
On the other hand
, potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
render a huge advantage for geographies, as regional infrastructure can
be built
with the support of such
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. To illustrate, Times reported that, In India there is a dramatic variation in per capita income and
also
development rate between 2010 and 2020 as multiple overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
been established
since then.
Thus
, growth in multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in a region is a boon not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the masses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the community development.

On the contrary
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are raising issues such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems and dissolving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds. Individuals tend to become workaholic as there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure at work,
as a result
, they are unable to invest time in taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and thereby are prone to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems including diabetes, BP and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations are not as strong as previous, as both the parents are unable to spend quality time with their children as they
are occupied
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Job commitments.
For example
, WHO reported that the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
rate has decreased
significantly
compared to the previous and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
decade as individuals are unable to maintain a proper diet for themselves and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to modern lifestyle.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNC
’s
indirectly
hinder the personal bonds and deteriorate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions of public.

In conclusion
, although the establishment of global enterprises is overwhelming as they yield factors such as money and luxury, they are
also
hazardous as they are root cause of adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
bonds among mankind.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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