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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree? v.8

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 8
It is often suggested that affluent countries should provide supplies to impoverished countries that are experiencing natural disasters. I agree with this view because it is a moral obligation and it reduces the spread of diseases. Provision of humanitarian relief to poor states during natural disasters is the right thing to do. Humans have a conscience that prompts us to come to the aid of those who are suffering. As a result, nations that have the means to address the unfortunate situations caused by nature in poorer states view the provisions of assistance as appropriate. For instance, after the 2009 Haiti earthquake, the developed regions of the world agreed that it is necessary to provide supplies to the island to mitigate the challenges faced by the people. Furthermore, such assistance help to curtail the transmission of infections. After a major natural catastrophe such as tsunami and flood, people lose their basic means of live like housing, food, portable water and health care. If these basic needs are not available, diseases quickly develop and spread within the same impoverished region and to other countries. However, with the humanitarian aids from affluent countries, infections will be curtailed. For example, a recent UNICEF report attributed the success in reducing diarrhoea in northeast Nigeria after flooding to donations from the UK and the US. In conclusion, rich countries should provide humanitarian reliefs to poor nations during natural disasters, as it is the appropriate moral step to take and it reduce the transmission of diseases. Efforts geared towards educating policy makers in various countries about this opinion should be promoted.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suggested that affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide supplies to impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disasters. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a moral obligation and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the spread of diseases.

Provision of humanitarian relief to poor states during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disasters is the right thing to do. Humans have a conscience that prompts us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the aid of those who are suffering.
As a result
, nations that have the means to address the unfortunate situations caused by nature in poorer states view the provisions of assistance as appropriate.
For instance
, after the 2009 Haiti earthquake, the developed regions of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that it is necessary to provide supplies to the island to mitigate the challenges faced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
, such assistance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to curtail the transmission of infections. After a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
catastrophe such as tsunami and flood,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their basic means of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like housing, food, portable water and health care. If these basic needs are not available, diseases
quickly
develop and spread within the same impoverished region and to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, with the humanitarian aids from affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, infections will
be curtailed
.
For example
, a recent UNICEF report attributed the success in reducing
Possible spelling mistake. 'diarrhoea' is British English.
diarrhoea
in northeast Nigeria after flooding to donations from the UK and the US.

In conclusion
, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide humanitarian reliefs to poor nations during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disasters, as it is the appropriate moral step to take and it
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
the transmission of diseases. Efforts geared towards educating
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
about this opinion should
be promoted
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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