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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters v.7

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters v. 7
It is believed by some that developed countries should provide humanitarian aid to underdeveloped countries during natural catastrophes. This essay strongly agrees with this assertion because richer countries alone have the resources to do so and it is a moral imperative. Developed nations are financially prosperous, so they have the unique ability to immediately help others in crisis. As their economies are robust, they can provide the types of aid for countries in crisis that no one else can. This aid can come in many forms, whether it be emergency health care and provisions, or even various types of transport, which poorer nations are generally in shortage of. For example, following the monsoon floods in Bangladesh, many nations helped by providing temporary shelters, shipping untold amounts of food, and even loaning helicopters for the evacuation, none of which could have been adequately provided by poorer countries. The second reason why rich nations should help less fortunate ones is that it is the right thing to do. From birth, we are all taught that we should love our fellow man and help each other when we are in need. Being rich does not exempt oneself from this moral imperative. Rather, it makes it essential, as if people cannot find it in themselves to share their ample resources with people suffering in other countries, their values will erode at home. For example, Barack Obama once said that if Americans could justify turning their backs on people who were suffering abroad, it would then become easier for Americans to start turning their backs on each other. In conclusion, this essay affirms that wealthy countries should assist poorer ones in times of need because they have the resources to do so and it is the morally right thing to do.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide humanitarian aid to underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
during natural catastrophes. This essay
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this assertion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
alone have the resources to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and it is a moral imperative.

Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
financially
prosperous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have the unique ability to immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others in crisis. As their economies are robust, they can provide the types of aid for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in crisis that no one else can. This aid can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms, whether it be emergency health care and provisions, or even various types of transport, which poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
generally
in shortage of.
For example
, following the monsoon floods in Bangladesh,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by providing temporary shelters, shipping untold amounts of food, and even loaning helicopters for the evacuation, none of which could have been
adequately
provided by poorer countries.

The second reason why rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
less fortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is that it is the right thing to do. From birth, we are all taught that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
our fellow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other when we are in need. Being rich does not exempt oneself from this moral imperative.
Rather
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it essential, as if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot find it in themselves to share their ample resources with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, their values will erode at home.
For example
, Barack Obama once said that if Americans could justify turning their backs on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were suffering abroad, it would then become easier for Americans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
turning their backs on each other.

In conclusion
, this essay affirms that wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should assist poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in times of need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the resources to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and it is the
morally
right thing to do.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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