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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. v. 1
It is argued that rich nations should allow higher numbers of refugees and provide them with adequate humanitarian aid. This essay agrees with this statement because richer nations have ample resources and infrastructure to support this cause. To begin with, wealthy nations have abundant food supply to support their citizens. However, this excessive supply has also led to massive amounts of food wastage. Instead of wasting these resources, governments of wealthy countries could allocate some of these supplies to people in dire need of help. For example, during the holy month of Ramadan, some rich Arab nations prepare huge banquets for their citizens where 30% of the food is wasted in decorations and later thrown away. Another important point to consider is that rich countries have well developed housing and infrastructure facilities. In other words, these nations are more than capable of handling an inflow of immigrants without reducing their quality of life. Allocating a small section of land to these helpless beings would be a sensible and humane gesture. For example, only a third of land in Australia is populated, with the vast majority of its mainland uninhabited. This means that it has enough land to accommodate additional immigrants without disrupting its economy. In conclusion, it is evident that countries with a strong economy can accept more refugees, and are more than capable of providing them with food and shelter. Regardless, it is a moral responsibility of every human being to support each other in times of need.
It
is argued
that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
higher numbers of refugees and provide them with adequate humanitarian aid. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have ample resources and infrastructure to support this cause.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supply to support their citizens.
However
, this excessive supply has
also
led to massive amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
wastage.
Instead
of wasting these resources,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of wealthy countries could allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these supplies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in dire need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For example
, during the holy month of Ramadan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rich Arab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
prepare huge banquets for their citizens where 30% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is wasted
in decorations and later thrown away.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to consider is that rich countries have
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
housing and infrastructure facilities.
In other words
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are more than capable of handling an inflow of immigrants without reducing their quality of life. Allocating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
section of land to these helpless beings would be a sensible and humane gesture.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a third of land in Australia
is populated
, with the vast majority of its mainland uninhabited. This means that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
land to accommodate additional immigrants without disrupting its economy.

In conclusion
, it is evident that countries with a strong economy can accept more refugees, and are more than capable of providing them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and shelter. Regardless, it is a moral responsibility of every human being to support each other in times of need.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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