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Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.7

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 7
Some people think that affluence does not provide sustainable peace of mind. I completely agree with this statement. This essay will first discuss about the short time pleasure of a luxurious lifestyle and followed by others factors, like spiritual needs to guarantee true human happiness. To begin with, money can afford luxuries for a short time period, but cannot satisfy an individual for a lifetime. In other words, bliss is an innate power which comes from inside, through money, a person can only fulfil his excessive greed, but cannot sustain a pleasure of his internal satisfaction in the long run. It is exemplified that, in 2001 during the recession period in the United States of America, a larger number of people were wealthy one who could not compensate their happiness through luxurious things during a time of crisis and hence face suffering and anxiety. Consequently, this is an ultimate reason why richness could not advantaged people to maintain happiness. On the other hand, besides wealth, there are some other factors, which guarantees human prosperity and contentment. These aspects are love, compassion, altruism, appreciation, et cetera. Instead of wealth, Lifelong joy can only be achieved by training and educating the sentient mind for these factors. The Mother Teresa, known as the mother of the nation, is one of the suitable examples, who spent all her life to make people and society happier by continuous struggle to achieve an innate power of bliss. In conclusion, people argue that happiness cannot be achieved by prosperity and wealth, because laughter is the human power which cannot be accomplished with luxurious things and it can only be fulfilled by showing love, compassion, altruism and appreciation for others.
Some
people
think
that affluence does not provide sustainable peace of mind. I completely
agree
with this statement. This essay will
first
discuss about the
short time pleasure of a luxurious lifestyle and followed by others factors, like spiritual needs to guarantee true human happiness.

To
begin
with, money can afford luxuries for a short time period,
but
cannot satisfy an individual for a lifetime. In
other
words, bliss is an innate power which
comes
from inside, through money, a person can
only
fulfil his excessive greed,
but
cannot sustain a pleasure of his internal satisfaction in the long run. It
is exemplified
that, in 2001 during the recession period in the United States of America, a larger number of
people
were wealthy one who could not compensate their happiness through luxurious things during a time of crisis and
hence
face suffering and anxiety.
Consequently
, this is an ultimate reason why richness could not
advantaged
people
to maintain happiness.

On the
other
hand,
besides
wealth, there are
some
other
factors, which guarantees human prosperity and contentment. These aspects are
love
, compassion, altruism, appreciation,
et cetera
.
Instead
of wealth, Lifelong joy can
only
be achieved
by training and educating the sentient mind for these factors. The Mother Teresa, known as the mother of the nation, is one of the suitable examples, who spent all her life to
make
people
and society happier by continuous struggle to achieve an innate power of bliss.

In conclusion
,
people
argue that happiness cannot
be achieved
by prosperity and wealth,
because
laughter is the human power which cannot
be accomplished
with luxurious things and it can
only
be fulfilled
by showing
love
, compassion, altruism and appreciation for others.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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