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Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v.9

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 9
Nowadays, we find all sorts of products in supermarkets. Some of them are locally produced and some of them are imported from abroad. These products include dairies, vegetables, fruits, canned food and cleansers etc. In this essay, I will explain why supermarkets should focus more on selling resident goods rather than foreign goods. Selling local products in supermarkets has many benefits for the country’s economy. First, it will encourage business people to invest more in establishing factories, it will lead to creating more jobs, which also will lead to boost individual’s financial condition. Besides the reduction of unemployment numbers, selling local products could enhance the country’s economy by increasing the number of exported products to other countries, and reducing the number of imported items from outside. Furthermore, selling goods produced inside the country will help to lower the prices for the customers, especially essential items that customers use in daily bases. In addition to this, local production will help society to reserve their traditional dishes rather than replace them with foreign food. The last point is that selling local vegetables and fruits in supermarkets will support resident farms and encourage them to expand and develop their farms. Despite all these advantages, we cannot ignore that there are many customers who like to try products from different countries, and they are willing to pay a higher price to purchase them. Therefore, we need to balance individuals’ need and society’s benefits. In conclusion, I believe that there are numerous advantages to increasing local food production within our Country.
Nowadays, we find all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in supermarkets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are
locally
produced and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
are imported
from abroad. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
include dairies, vegetables, fruits, canned food and cleansers etc. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why supermarkets should focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
resident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
rather
than foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in supermarkets has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.
First
, it will encourage business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to invest more in establishing factories, it will lead to creating more jobs, which
also
will lead to boost individual’s financial condition.
Besides
the reduction of unemployment numbers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
could enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy by increasing the number of exported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and reducing the number of imported items from outside.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
produced inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to lower the prices for the customers,
especially
essential items that customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in daily bases.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
production will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
society to reserve their traditional dishes
rather
than replace them with foreign food. The last point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vegetables and fruits in supermarkets will support resident farms and encourage them to expand and develop their farms.

Despite all these advantages, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers who like to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and they are willing to pay a higher price to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them.
Therefore
, we need to balance individuals’ need and society’s benefits.

In conclusion
, I believe that there are numerous advantages to increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
food production within our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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