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we should introduce law to make business and state services employ equal numbers of male and female worker in every department or area of the company. How far do you agree this idea? give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience. v.1

we should introduce law to make business and state services employ equal numbers of male and female worker in every department or area of the company. How far do you agree this idea? v. 1
The issue of discrimination at workplace always continue to be controversial debate, with regards to legislations, it is often thought by massive, at the workplace the equality of should be same. According to my prospective, I reckon that, enforcing laws to employers to hire number of men and women every part, yet, it is not suitable in a myriad of territory, I elaborate my notions in upcoming fragments. Ironically enough, despite the regulation of reduce sexism among people, the plethora of individuals do not deem it because they think that male and female have different interest in various meadow namely, nurses, teachers and so forth as well as folks are unique about their occupation, their abilities and role in society. Moving further, the services of the companies demand physical skill or strength additionally, most of the woman has no this power for example, Massive of females are not curiosity in the field of engineering line owing to physical necessities. So, it can be impossible to implement this legislation in the separate work field. However, human resources always highlight that it is impossible to impose this law on gender in the work destination, on the positive side, if this law implements in various fields, the discriminate between gender has reduced. Thus, it can infer that, equal number of gender in their workplace not good at all because multiple of people face hassles in various terrain, so they do not believe in this law.
The issue of discrimination at workplace always continue to be controversial debate,
with regards to
legislations
, it is
often
thought
by massive, at the workplace the equality of should be same. According to my prospective, I reckon that, enforcing
laws
to employers to hire number of
men
and women every part,
yet
, it is not suitable in a myriad of territory, I elaborate my notions in upcoming fragments.

Ironically
enough
, despite the regulation of
reduce
sexism among
people
, the plethora of individuals do not deem it
because
they
think
that male and female have
different
interest in various meadow
namely
, nurses, teachers and
so
forth
as well
as folks are unique about their occupation, their abilities and role in society. Moving
further
, the services of the
companies
demand physical
skill
or strength
additionally
, most of the woman has
no
this power
for example
, Massive of females are not curiosity in the field of engineering line owing to physical necessities.
So
, it can be impossible to implement this legislation in the separate work field.

However
, human resources always highlight that it is impossible to impose this
law
on gender in the work destination, on the
positive
side, if this
law
implements in various fields,
the discriminate
between gender has
reduced
.

Thus
, it can infer that, equal number of gender in their workplace not
good
at all
because
multiple of
people
face hassles in various terrain,
so
they do not believe in this
law
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay we should introduce law to make business and state services employ equal numbers of male and female worker in every department or area of the company. How far do you agree this idea? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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