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We never know when the natural disaster will shatter an area and that is why the government should take every precaution to protect its citizens from natural disaster. v.2

We never know when the natural disaster will shatter an area and that is why the government should take every precaution to protect its citizens from natural disaster. v. 2
People have established a government to lead, guide, and care for the whole country. A government always knows its sworn responsibility and one of it is to assure the wellness and security of the citizenship from disasters, man-made or naturally caused. I agree that the government is responsible and accounted for keeping its citizens from natural disasters, to keep them informed and provide safety and rescue measures once a disaster had already occurred. It is necessary for a certain individual to know what he should do in case of emergencies and so relevant information would serve as a vital role to save oneself from a disaster. The government should disperse information for the preparation of the entire community before catastrophe could happen. An example would be safety tips during and after an earthquake. As a student before, we were exposed into an earthquake drill so we were somehow taught what to do during an earthquake. So when a real earthquake occurred, we just stayed calm and did what we have practised. Moreover, a government is also reliable to save the people injured so rescue facilities should be sent to places which have been affected. Trained professionals and volunteers, rescue mobiles, and other related rescue units are the appropriate ones to be dispatched. Like floods, which usually occur in most regions of our country, rescuers used to save the victims through rescue boats and retrieve them from their affected homes. Overall, the government should keep its responsibility for the safety of its people from naturally caused disasters through the use of relevant information, and necessary facilities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have established a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to lead, guide, and care for the whole country. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
always knows its sworn responsibility and one of it is to assure the wellness and security of the citizenship from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made or
naturally
caused. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible and accounted for keeping its citizens from natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them informed and provide safety and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
measures once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
had already occurred.

It is necessary for a certain individual to know what he should do in case of emergencies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
relevant information would serve as a vital role to save oneself from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should disperse information for the preparation of the entire community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
catastrophe could happen. An example would be safety tips during and after an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earthquake
. As a student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, we
were exposed
into an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earthquake
drill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we were somehow taught what to do during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earthquake
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earthquake
occurred, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stayed calm and did what we have
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
.

Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
also
reliable to save the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
injured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
facilities should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to places which have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Trained professionals and volunteers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
mobiles, and other related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
units are the appropriate ones to
be dispatched
. Like floods, which
usually
occur in most regions of our country, rescuers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to save the victims through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
boats and retrieve them from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
homes.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
its responsibility for the safety of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
naturally
caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of relevant information, and necessary facilities.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay We never know when the natural disaster will shatter an area and that is why the government should take every precaution to protect its citizens from natural disaster. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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