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The government should put every effort to save the citizen from natural disaster. v.2

The government should put every effort to save the citizen from natural disaster. v. 2
In today’s modern world, we are constantly bombarded with the issue of natural disasters happening around the globe. Thus, some people assert that preventing the occurrence of natural disasters is merely the responsibility of government as they believe they can do nothing in preventing it from happening. Nevertheless, I think that cooperation between people and government is essential in protecting citizens from natural disasters. Undoubtedly, the government has the largest obligation to take the practical measures to prevent natural disasters from happening. They can, for example, employ the best scientists and geologists to predict the time of occurrence of disasters. By knowing when there will be a natural disaster, the government can then take the effective prevention to mitigate the potentially dangerous effects on human lives. To illustrate, to tackle the problem of the tsunami which may cause a severe death of inhabitants, the government should allocate a portion of the money to improve the current drainage system and to build barriers near the sea-coast. Thus, it is apparent that government has more power to lower the potential risks of natural disasters from happening and its effects on the citizens. However, it is not to say that citizens have no responsibility to protect themselves from natural disasters. They can take little but could prove useful ways in dealing with this problem. For instance, parents should educate their children from young to behave well by not simply throwing rubbish into the drains and rivers which may eventually cause blockage. This kind of act is proved to be useful in preventing natural disasters like flooding. In addition, they should also take part in a campaign which gives information on what can be done by citizens in order to minimise the negative impacts of natural disasters on human beings. Although there are limited actions that an individual can take in dealing with this problem, the possible negative impacts on humans can still be reduced if every citizen plays their own part. In conclusion, it is the responsibility of both government and individuals to mitigate the unanticipated impacts of natural disasters on human beings. I believe our nation will continue to prosper and flourish in the years to come and the citizens can be free from disasters.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, we are
constantly
bombarded with the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
around the globe.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that preventing the occurrence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
is
merely
the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as they believe they can do nothing in preventing it from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that cooperation between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is essential in protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disasters.

Undoubtedly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the largest obligation to take the practical measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
. They can,
for example
, employ the best scientists and geologists to predict the time of occurrence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
. By knowing when there will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can then take the effective prevention to mitigate the
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To illustrate, to tackle the problem of the tsunami which may cause a severe death of inhabitants, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate a portion of the money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
drainage system and to build barriers near the sea-coast.
Thus
, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has more power to lower the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
and its effects on the citizens.

However
, it is not to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
have no responsibility to protect themselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
. They can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could prove useful ways in dealing with this problem.
For instance
, parents should educate their children from young to behave well by not
simply
throwing rubbish into the drains and rivers which may
eventually
cause blockage. This kind of act
is proved
to be useful in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
like flooding.
In addition
, they should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a campaign which gives information on what can
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. Although there
are limited
actions that an individual can take in dealing with this problem, the possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can
still
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
if every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
plays their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
part.

In conclusion
, it is the responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals to mitigate the unanticipated impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. I believe our nation will continue to prosper and flourish in the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can be free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should put every effort to save the citizen from natural disaster. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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