Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

We live in the world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control & security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree? v.1

We live in the world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control & security of information outweighs the advantages. v. 1
Irrefutably, the technological advancements have transformed every sphere of modern life. Whether the privacy and information protection concerns overshadows the astonishing benefits of the world wide web, has become a matter of debate among the masses. Owing to increased transparency and emerging cyber laws, this essay disagrees with the above notion. At the outset, the cyberspace has become highly secure, whereby no personal information can be shared without the knowledge & consent of the user. This is possible by the mode of encrypted messages, granting access rights, creating private networks, installing firewalls etc. For an instance, the study by Hawthrone university in 2017 revealed that 9 out of every 10 fake attempts to login into the university database were traced and denied by the firewalls installed in internet infrastructure within 3 seconds. The rest was dealt within minutes, resulting into 100% success rate. Furthermore, the government and the law enforcement authorities have become stringent towards cyber crimes. Events like hacking, theft of information, unauthorized access to personal online space have been listed in criminal offences attracting penalties & prosecutions. To exemplify, the Facebook was ordered by the federal court of USA in 2016 to pay $ 5 million in compensation to a Latin American couple, Mr. & Mrs. Evans for sacrificing their personal information to a local advertising agency. Thus, in the light of the above arguments, it can be concluded that the privacy & security control issues are well addressed by the ongoing inventions & the stringent cyber laws; therefore, these risks are apparently outweighed by the revolutionary benefits of internet.
Irrefutably
, the technological advancements have transformed every sphere of modern life. Whether the privacy and
information
protection concerns overshadows the astonishing benefits of the
world wide web
, has become a matter of debate among the masses. Owing to increased transparency and emerging cyber laws, this essay disagrees with the above notion.

At the outset, the cyberspace has become
highly
secure, whereby no personal
information
can
be shared
without the knowledge & consent of the user. This is possible by the mode of encrypted messages, granting access rights, creating private networks, installing firewalls etc. For an instance, the study by
Hawthrone
university in 2017 revealed that 9 out of every 10 fake attempts to login into the university database
were traced
and denied by the firewalls installed in internet infrastructure within 3 seconds. The rest
was dealt
within minutes, resulting into 100% success rate.

Furthermore
, the
government
and the law enforcement authorities have become stringent towards cyber crimes.
Events
like hacking, theft of
information
, unauthorized access to personal online space have
been listed
in criminal
offences
attracting penalties & prosecutions. To exemplify, the Facebook
was ordered
by the federal court
of USA
in 2016 to pay
$ 5
million in compensation to a Latin American couple, Mr. & Mrs. Evans for sacrificing their personal
information
to a local advertising agency.

Thus
, in the light of the above arguments, it can
be concluded
that the privacy & security control issues are well addressed by the ongoing inventions & the stringent cyber laws;
therefore
, these
risks
are
apparently
outweighed by the revolutionary benefits of internet.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay We live in the world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control & security of information outweighs the advantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts