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topics: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree v.1

topics: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. 1
Modern technology has impacted to the today’s world positively; everyone can feel the illimitable advantages of having technology which is making the life of a human being more easy and conformable. Many people are still taking it as curse owing to privacy and security system. I completely believe that the internet is crucial for the healthy growth, but we can’t escape the importance of control and security system which can be maintained by taking a few steps as it is mandatory for the sake of sensitivity and privacy. Firstly, people, especially young generation is interacting with even those people who are living at the end of the globe, through internet, which is possible only because of technology up gradation. People are communicating through social media either Facebook or Instagram. These days children are well aware not only about their own country, but also about the abroad activities and rules, which are increasing their knowledge, experience and making them multi-cultural. To get more security or limit to their network, people can use privacy system which is easy to use and maintain. There is only need to provide proper guidance regarding how to operate and keep safe your stuff safe on on-line sites. If proper education will be provided regarding the possible problem of having no privacy and security system, to the society, it will make them more aware about the adequate usage of internet. Secondly, in the commercial sector, revenue is gradually increasing only because of modern technology and the internet; otherwise it will get hard to share the idea, knowledge and strategies with the whole world through a single platform. Businessmen are saving huge money by making deals through video conferencing. People are able to make and receive payment online, which is saving their time and effort which they can consume to something valuable. Online transactions are only possible if there would be proper security and privacy, nobody can access to the stuff of other persons. People are learning numerous skills and traits by observing and watching to their mentor through social media. The internet has increased the revenue and interaction among people. In conclusion, control and security system is mandatory to learn to take the optimum benefit of the modern technology and the internet, which is raising the living standard of the human being along with their income and knowledge.
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has impacted to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
positively
; everyone can feel the illimitable advantages of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which is making the life of a human being more easy and conformable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
taking it as curse owing to privacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. I completely believe that the internet is crucial for the healthy growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can’t escape the importance of control and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which can
be maintained
by taking a few steps as it is mandatory for the sake of sensitivity and privacy.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young generation is interacting with even those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the globe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
internet, which is possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
up gradation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are communicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
social media either Facebook or Instagram. These days children are well aware not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about the abroad activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, which are increasing their knowledge, experience and making them multi-cultural. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
or limit to their network,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
privacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and maintain. There is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
need to provide proper guidance regarding how to operate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
safe your stuff safe on on-line sites. If proper education will
be provided
regarding the possible problem of having no privacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, to the society, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more aware about the adequate usage of internet.

Secondly
, in the commercial sector, revenue is
gradually
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the internet;
otherwise
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to share the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, knowledge and strategies with the whole world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a single platform. Businessmen are saving huge money by making deals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
video conferencing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and receive payment online, which is saving their time and effort which they can consume to something valuable. Online transactions are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
possible if there would be proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and privacy, nobody can access to the stuff of other persons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are learning numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and traits by observing and watching to their mentor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
social media. The internet has increased the revenue and interaction among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, control and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is mandatory to learn to take the optimum benefit of the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the internet, which is raising the living standard of the human being along with their income and knowledge.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay topics: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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