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violence in the media couses youth to became agressive, do you agree or disagree v.1

violence in the media couses youth to became agressive, v. 1
In the post-modern period, violence among younger generation has been increased. There is an opinion that primarily violent content on the media is a culprit and the government has required to take action against these properly; however, there remain some disagreements. It is considered; therefore, that others factors are responsible for the same, so parents and teachers should fix the problem. I, support this viewpoint. First of all, it is an indisputable fact that, not all have who either listened or watched explicit, provocative programs may not be become criminals. Not having controlled and supported, children, tend to become involved criminal activities: murdering, robbery, and shoplifting. In other words, youth, especially teenagers, who are easily manipulated by others, are should be closely monitored by parents when they are at home. While these people at school be asked regarding whoever their friends and whatever activities they participate outside the home. These relevant information owing to discuss with parents to ensure their children are on the safe side rather than blaming the media. Yet, another point is to consider here is that providing supportive services to the youngsters who are from a problematic family background. By contrast, if the government control youth and ask them to what to do or what not do would interpret that inversion of their privacy. Helpline and counselling is the best method to resolve this problem effectively even though it is quite expensive. In my belief this could have far reaching benefits not only for youth, but the entire society may be helped. By way of conclusion. I again reaffirm that by closely monitored in school and home, youngsters would be rescued from becoming an offender in their later in the life. It is also suggested that blaming the media is waste of as this an nothing to do with criminal behaviour.
In the post-modern period, violence among younger generation has
been increased
. There is an opinion that
primarily
violent content on the media is a culprit and the
government
has required to take action against these
properly
;
however
, there remain
some
disagreements. It
is considered
;
therefore
, that others factors are responsible for the same,
so
parents and teachers should
fix
the problem. I, support this viewpoint.

First of all
, it is an indisputable fact that, not all have who either listened or
watched
explicit, provocative programs may not
be become
criminals. Not having controlled and supported, children, tend to become involved criminal activities: murdering, robbery, and shoplifting.
In other words
, youth,
especially
teenagers
, who are
easily
manipulated by others, are should be
closely
monitored by parents when they are at home. While these
people
at school
be asked
regarding whoever their friends and whatever activities they participate outside the home. These relevant information owing to discuss with parents to ensure their children are on the safe side
rather
than blaming the media.

Yet
, another point is to consider here is that providing supportive services to the youngsters who are from a problematic family background. By contrast, if the
government
control youth and ask them to what to do or what not do would interpret that inversion of their privacy. Helpline and counselling is the best method to resolve this problem
effectively
even though
it is quite expensive. In my belief this could have
far reaching
benefits not
only
for youth,
but
the entire society may be
helped
.

By way of conclusion. I again reaffirm that by
closely
monitored in school and home, youngsters would
be rescued
from becoming an offender in their later in the life. It is
also
suggested that blaming the media is waste of as this
an
nothing to do with criminal
behaviour
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay violence in the media couses youth to became agressive, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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