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1255 Describe a person who became your intimate friend at the first meetingYou should sayWho the person wasWhen you first met the personWhat you did togetherAnd explain why you became friends at the meeting v.1

1255 Describe a person who became your intimate friend at the first meetingYou should sayWho the person wasWhen you first met the personWhat you did togetherAnd explain why you became friends at the meeting v. 1
There is no doubt that people who commit crime should fear retribution. However, while some believe that there should be a certain affixed pattern of punishment for different types of crimes, I personally would agree with those who argue that the situation and the reason behind having indulged in such a wrong-doing should be taken into account while deciding the punishment. Firstly, it is very important to identify the consequence of a crime committed by an individual on the basis of root factor such as category of criminality. The reason behind this is, if the matrix of the type of crime versus the respective punishment is already generated and in place by the government, people who are aware of the former would think twice before doing something illegal. For instance, if the terrorists of 9/11 attack on Taj Hotel, India would have known that the consequence of wrongful done by them would lead to judgement of hanging them to death, they would have put their idea under microscope before executing it. Besides of the fact that people are aware about causalities of specific crimes, this approach saves a lot of time and energy of the government which then can be used for developing a country in various productive factors such as science and technology. Nonetheless, I believe that the environment and the intention of committing a crime should be verified before giving judgement and henceforth, punishment. The reason behind this is, sometimes certain severe actions are taken by an individual in the motive of protecting oneself or the others. The best and most recent illustration of Rajkot that fits here is the self-defence method used by a woman that sincerely hurt a criminal who had a cruel intention of raping her. As a result of incidents happening frequently, citizens of a country, to feel safe, atleast could use the liberty to raise their voices against the false actions or doings. Conversely, if a juvenile is judged and given the same punishment as adults, then it is an unfair decision, as the younger one may regret and hence, there is a possibility of improvement. In conclusion, although it is highly recommended that a strict pattern of punishments can be followed for specific crimes, I strongly feel that the impetus and drive towards the wrong actions should be taken into consideration before the final judgement.
There is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should fear retribution.
However
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that there should be a
Make sure that the adjective 'certain' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'affixed'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
certain affixed
pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, I
personally
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue that the situation and the reason behind having indulged in such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
-doing should
be taken
into account while deciding the punishment.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to identify the consequence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committed by an individual on the basis of root factor such as category of criminality. The reason behind this is, if the matrix of the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
versus the respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is already generated and in place by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are aware of the former would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
doing something illegal.
For instance
, if the terrorists of 9/11 attack on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Taj
Hotel, India would have known that the consequence of wrongful done by them would lead to judgement of hanging them to death, they would have put their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
under microscope
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
executing it.
Besides
of the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware about causalities of specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, this approach saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and energy of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which then can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for developing a country in various productive factors such as science and technology.

Nonetheless, I believe that the environment and the intention of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be verified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
giving judgement and henceforth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. The reason behind this is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
certain severe actions
are taken
by an individual in the motive of protecting oneself or the others. The best and most recent illustration of Rajkot that fits here is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'self-defence' is British English.
self-defence
method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by a woman that
sincerely
hurt a criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had a cruel intention of raping her.
As a result
of incidents happening
frequently
, citizens of a country, to feel safe,
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the liberty to raise their voices against the false actions or doings.
Conversely
, if a juvenile
is judged
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as adults, then it is an unfair decision, as the younger one may regret and
hence
, there is a possibility of improvement.

In conclusion
, although it is
highly
recommended that a strict pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can
be followed
for specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, I
strongly
feel that the impetus and drive towards the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
actions should
be taken
into consideration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the final judgement.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 1255 Describe a person who became your intimate friend at the first meetingYou should sayWho the person wasWhen you first met the personWhat you did togetherAnd explain why you became friends at the meeting v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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