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Using the points and examples from the lecture, explain two ways that advertising can negatively affect the environment. v.1

Using the points and examples from the lecture, explain two ways that advertising can negatively affect the environment. v. 1
In the past decades, most of the high schools all over the world have planned some compulsory activities for the students, such as collecting money for poor people, teaching different skills to others and so on for free, and for all these services they do not get paid. In this essay, I am going to discuss different aspects of these projects and explain the main concepts behind them. On the one hand, although these programs are obligatory, and at first view, might seem frustrating to students, it would be a great idea, participating in these schedules such as helping other students with their courses and teach them doing sports or doing some activities which would end up with collecting money for charities and such things. Because in this situation, they would learn to be socialized, and its shapes, their sense of socialism to help people in the time of their needs. Furthermore, they could learn collaboratively, and shortly, it might have a great influence on their attitudes. On the other hand, these mandatory services enable high school students to connect their school lessons to practical lives. For example, in class, they learn about how to keep the environment clean and avoid throwing trash on the ground. The notion behind some kinds of programs, which is called improving the neighbourhood is precisely planned to address these issues. The students could go out there and interact with others and resolve these problems efficiently. In conclusion, considering the benefits of this social attempt for students, it is highly reasonable to make community service obligatory in high school schedules, and I entirely support these programs.
In the past decades, most of the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
all over the world have planned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compulsory activities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, such as collecting money for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to others and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on for free, and for all these services they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid. In this essay, I am going to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of these projects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the main concepts behind them.

On the one hand, although these programs are obligatory, and at
first
view, might seem frustrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, participating in these schedules such as helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with their courses and teach them doing sports or doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with collecting money for charities and such things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in this situation, they would learn to
be socialized
, and its shapes, their sense of socialism to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the time of their needs.
Furthermore
, they could learn
collaboratively
, and shortly, it might have a great influence on their attitudes.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, these mandatory services enable high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to connect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
lessons to practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they learn about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environment clean and avoid throwing trash on the ground. The notion behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of programs, which
is called
improving the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is
precisely
planned to address these issues. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could go out there and interact with others and resolve these problems
efficiently
.

In conclusion
, considering the benefits of this social attempt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it is
highly
reasonable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
community service obligatory in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
schedules, and I
entirely
support these programs.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Using the points and examples from the lecture, explain two ways that advertising can negatively affect the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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