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Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand v.1

Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand v. 1
Some people favour spending their lives routinely avoiding new experience. However, others prefer change and fear. In this essay, I am going to discuss both points of views saying why I prefer to exploit to a quiet life. The humankind has faced many obstacles and danger along the way to construct our great civilization as a result the love of scene and action has grown into our souls. On the other hand, modern, easy growth caused the worrier inside us to retire, leaving the way for relaxation and wrest to take the upper hand. A great deal of people who like routine argue that doing the same things again and again makes us perfect and professionals in our business, leading to more productivity and leading to much more free time for ourselves to enjoy. Nevertheless, the other party to which I am loyal, says that exploit is what really gives meaning to our lives. Adventurous individual is usually innovative and brave, these two manners once coexisted in a man outstanding outcomes are a sure thing. From another perspective, trying new ways and doing strange things provides a ton of experience, which is appreciated by all people. Therefore, I would say that a heart of an adventurer is exciting, fruitful and full of new experiences and most significant is their way of receiving soul as it is. In conclusion, staying in the safe zone is of its privileges that some people appreciate. However, adventure comes with a great deal of compromises, but the net result could be fascinating. It generally depends on your personal preference.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
spending their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
routinely
avoiding new experience.
However
, others prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and fear. In this essay, I am going to discuss both points of views saying why I prefer to exploit to a quiet life.

The humankind has faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
along the way to construct our great civilization
as a result
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of scene and action has grown into our souls.
On the other hand
, modern, easy growth caused the worrier inside us to retire, leaving the way for relaxation and wrest to take the upper hand. A great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like routine argue that doing the same things again and again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us perfect and professionals in our business, leading to more productivity and leading to much more free time for ourselves to enjoy.

Nevertheless
, the other party to which I am loyal, says that exploit is what
really
gives meaning to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Adventurous individual is
usually
innovative and brave, these two manners once coexisted in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
outstanding outcomes are a sure thing. From another perspective, trying new ways and doing strange things provides a ton of experience, which
is appreciated
by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, I would say that a heart of an adventurer is exciting, fruitful and full of new experiences and most significant is their way of receiving soul as it is.

In conclusion
, staying in the safe zone is of its privileges that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate.
However
, adventure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a great deal of compromises,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the net result could be fascinating. It
generally
depends on your personal preference.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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