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TPO 27 - Question 6Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. v.1

TPO 27 - Question 6Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. v. 1
Celebrities are known to express their views about public happenings now and then. I completely agree that, this is a positive scenario. The most compelling reason to support the public figures in responding to the issues of the society is that, they hold the power to bring changes in many situations which, affect the society adversely. To begin with, most of the famous people have a sense of responsibility towards other people. Also, they can influence the society in many positive ways as they have the support from their followers. For example, some celebrities take up social initiatives such as collecting relief funds for natural calamities and helping the poor and needy. These initiatives are more successful when a person of fame is involved rather than a normal person. Additionally, now-a-days many famous people open up about their personal opinions regarding the public problems in the world such as, pollution and global warming. Because of their outwardness, an increasing number of people are aware of these problems and their solutions. To exemplify this, recently, the famous Hollywood actor, Leonardo De-Caprio advocated regarding the climate change, which was famous in the social media and brought awareness to the common people. However, there are a few famous people who misuse their power in the form of spreading false news or tarnishing the personal image of the others. Often, the general public can see their behavioural patterns and, are completely aware of the public figures who have negative intentions. Hence, these cannot cause any damage. In conclusion, celebrities need to voice out their opinions to help people and society change. This causes significant positive effects in the world. Although, there are very few public figures who intend to cause negativity, they are negligible because of the awareness in the public.
Celebrities
are known
to express their views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
happenings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
scenario. The most compelling reason to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures in responding to the issues of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is that, they hold the power to bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations which, affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
adversely
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a sense of responsibility towards other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, they can influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways as they have the support from their followers.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
celebrities take up social initiatives such as collecting relief funds for natural calamities and helping the poor and needy. These initiatives are more successful when a person of fame
is involved
rather
than a normal person.

Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
open up about their personal opinions regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
problems in the world such as, pollution and global warming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
outwardness
, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of these problems and their solutions. To exemplify this, recently, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
Hollywood actor, Leonardo
Possible spelling mistake found.
De-Caprio
advocated regarding the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
in the social media and brought awareness to the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who misuse their power in the form of spreading false news or tarnishing the personal image of the others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
patterns and, are completely aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
intentions.
Hence
, these cannot cause any damage.

In conclusion
, celebrities need to voice out their opinions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. This causes significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects in the world. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures who intend to cause negativity, they are negligible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the awareness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 27 - Question 6Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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