Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

At universities often have a choice to place to live they may choose to live in university dominators or they may choose to live in apartment in the community compare the advantages of living in university housing with the of living in an apartment in the v.1

At universities often have a choice to place to live they may choose to live in university dominators or they may choose to live in apartment in the community compare the advantages of living in university housing with the of living in an apartment in the v. 1
People in different fields have different categories of wages and salary always depends on the type of skill that every individual possess. It is always argued that people who entertain others are always paid high amounts when compared to other people in various fields with different talents. I strongly believe that entertainers should have high remuneration because they possess extraordinary skills than others. This essay will discuss firstly, why sports stars, film stars or pop musicians have to be paid large amounts and what other jobs that should bag more salary apart from entertainers and followed by a reasoned conclusion. To embark on, people in their free time would always prefer to spend some time watching movies in order to distract themselves from a hectic schedule. Also, there are people who are sports lovers and would like to spend their time watching their favourite sports person representing their own country or team moreover, those sports stars deserve a lot of respect and remuneration. For instance, the cricket fan festival begins when IPL season starts and people are damn crazy about their favourite teams and there will be many bets going around these matches because of the demand it has among the people. There are few sports persons who represent their country in the Olympics, where people from that country get a chance to feel proud because it is their home country playing along with many countries and making huge people letting to know about their country. Moreover, some people would have singing, dancing or listening to music as a hobby, but excelling in such areas require a lot of dedication and commitment and it is not easy to grab a top position in such fields. For instance, Micheal Jackson is the god of the dance and there is no one who would replace him and may not be in the near future as his talent would challenge many generations for years. Also, AR Rehman in music had a signature and no one can even dare to copy the legendary tunes. Because of which they are highly respected and paid a lot of money. Apart from these, there are few other professions which also require attention towards salary like Scientists and Doctors. Doctors in India are paid very little salary when compared to other fields and as we know, doctors are always demanding and need higher salaries. Also, it is the same with scientists who strive hard to achieve something which is as valuable as a noble prize but none recognize with a good wage. To conclude, entertainment has now become an integral part of our life and hence demanding a lot of money. Apart from this, there are other fields which are as equal as entertainment, but are incomparable in terms of their package and hence needs to be highly demanded in salary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories of wages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
always depends on the type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that every individual possess. It is always argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
entertain others are always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
high amounts when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
talents. I
strongly
believe that entertainers should have high remuneration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they possess extraordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
than others. This essay will discuss
firstly
, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars, film stars or pop musicians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
large amounts and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs that should bag more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
apart from entertainers and followed by a reasoned conclusion.

To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their free time would always prefer to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time watching movies in order to distract themselves from a hectic schedule.
Also
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lovers and would like to spend their time watching their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person representing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or team
moreover
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars deserve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of respect and remuneration.
For instance
, the cricket fan festival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
when
Possible spelling mistake found.
IPL
season
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are damn crazy about their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
teams and there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bets going around these matches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the demand it has among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
represent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the Olympics, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to feel proud
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
playing along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and making huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
letting to know about their country.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have singing, dancing or listening to music as a hobby,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
excelling in such areas require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of dedication and commitment and it is not easy to grab a top position in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
.
For instance
, Micheal Jackson is the god of the dance and there is no one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would replace him and may not be in the near future as his talent would challenge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generations for years.
Also
, AR
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rehman
in music had a signature and no one can even dare to copy the legendary tunes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of which they are
highly
respected and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money.

Apart from these, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions which
also
require attention towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
like Scientists and Doctors. Doctors in India are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
and as we know, doctors are always demanding and need higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
Also
, it is the same with scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
strive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve something which is as valuable as a noble prize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none recognize with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage.

To conclude
, entertainment has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become an integral part of our life and
hence
demanding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money. Apart from this, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
which are as equal as entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are incomparable in terms of their package and
hence
needs to be
highly
demanded in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay At universities often have a choice to place to live they may choose to live in university dominators or they may choose to live in apartment in the community compare the advantages of living in university housing with the of living in an apartment in the v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
473 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts