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Using points and examples from the lecture, explain two ways that photography affected painting. v.1

Using points and examples from the lecture, explain two ways that photography affected painting. v. 1
It is said that the key factor to be successful in studying is learn by heart facts. I completely disagree with this point of view. Education is one of the most important issues in every country as there are many benefits gaining from it. First of all, education gives people knowledge and skills in any specific fields that they studied. To get the best results in education, people should do more than they think, not only memorising. In my opinion, understanding is the most important key to success. For example, when I study chemistry for my advanced test, reading a textbook and memorising everything there is not enough. If I just do this, I will could not do anything in the test. I have to understand this information, but not only understand, it's still not enough. I have to understand its very, very deeply until it likely becomes a part of my body. Only then, I feel that I succeeded in my studies. Memorising will not help us if we don't understand anything. If we just memorise these facts, we might success only in the test of remembering things. This is something like a robot, you remember this, people ask you about this, you might answer it, but if they expanded the limitation of the questions, you couldn't. There are many other ways we can do to succeed in education. Practising is one more example. We learn theories in classes, but what we learn is just what the other experienced and recorded for the smaller generations. Therefore, practising will help you to understand what the textbook is trying to tell you. In conclusion, to be successful in education, memorising is not an important way for everyone.
It
is said
that the key factor to be successful in studying is
Consider using a past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
by heart facts. I completely disagree with this point of view.

Education is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues in every country as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits gaining from it.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in any specific fields that they studied. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should do more than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorising' is British English.
memorising
. In my opinion, understanding is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
key to success.
For example
, when I study chemistry for my advanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, reading a textbook and
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorising' is British English.
memorising
everything there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. If I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do this, I will
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
could
not do anything in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
this information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
, it's
still
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
deeply
until it likely becomes a part of my body.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
then, I feel that I succeeded in my studies.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Memorising' is British English.
Memorising
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us if we don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
anything. If we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
these facts, we
The word 'success' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
might success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
of remembering things. This is something like a robot, you remember this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ask you about this, you might answer it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they expanded the limitation of the questions, you couldn't. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ways we can do to succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Practising' is British English.
Practising
is one more example. We learn theories in classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what we learn is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
what the other experienced and recorded for the smaller generations.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
what the textbook is trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you.

In conclusion
, to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorising' is British English.
memorising
is not an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
way for everyone.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Using points and examples from the lecture, explain two ways that photography affected painting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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