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Some kinds of social insects live in large groups or colonies in which different members of the colony have different tasks to keep the colony running smoothly. Some members of the colony are responsible for providing appropriate food for the entire colon v.1

Some kinds of social insects live in large groups or colonies in which different members of the colony have different tasks to keep the colony running smoothly. Some members of the colony are responsible for providing appropriate food for the entire colon v. 1
Some people argue that the economic development is the only factor that could determine how a nation grows and changes. However, I believe that there are many other essential factors measuring this success. The first factor would be environmental conditions which are of vital importance to human life. The growth of a country could not be regarded as a success if it has a robust economy while its natural habitats are destroyed severely and the environment is polluted. It seems to me that this unsustainable development is a failure as the survival of numerous people is being threatened. Another important indicator is the social stability, which is related to social programs and social service. It becomes clear that no one wants to live in a country which is wealthy, but full of social unrest, such as prostitution, public violence or human trafficking. If the unemployment could get assistance and subsidies or a minority could get equal opportunities of education and employment, we can say that this country is advanced. However, the most important factor is the political system because it has an enormous impact on other factors, thus measuring the development of nations. From the economic perspective, a peaceful nation would attract investment from multinational companies, and in the long-term, it is political policies that would make a significant contribution to the well-being of that country. In fact, in some countries, terrorism, rebellion, and revolution due to a multi-party system had damaged the structure of the economy and deterred enterprises from operating and investing. From the social perspective, the policies of local authorities directly affect the community. For example, the poverty could be shaken off if the government allocate fund to this pressure issue in a proper way. The efficiency of policies in terms of dealing with social problems is definitely a sign of success. In conclusion, I would contend that what makes a country successful is not its GDP or other economic indicators, but its environment, social harmony and particularly its stable political system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the economic development is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
that could determine how a nation grows and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
However
, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
measuring this success.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
would be environmental conditions which are of vital importance to human life. The growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could not
be regarded
as a success if it has a robust economy while its natural habitats are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
severely
and the environment
is polluted
. It seems to me that this unsustainable development is a failure as the survival of numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is
being threatened
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
indicator is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
stability, which
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
programs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
service. It becomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that no one wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is wealthy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
unrest, such as prostitution, public violence or human trafficking. If the unemployment could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
assistance and subsidies or a minority could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
equal opportunities of education and employment, we can say that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is advanced
.

However
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is the political system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has an enormous impact on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
,
thus
measuring the development of nations. From the economic perspective, a peaceful nation would attract investment from multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and in the long-term, it is political policies that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant contribution to the well-being of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, terrorism, rebellion, and revolution due to a multi-party system had damaged the structure of the economy and deterred enterprises from operating and investing. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
perspective, the policies of local authorities
directly
affect the community.
For example
, the poverty could
be shaken
off if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
allocate fund to this pressure issue
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
. The efficiency of policies in terms of dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems is definitely a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of success.

In conclusion
, I would contend that what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
successful is not its GDP or other economic indicators,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
harmony and
particularly
its stable political system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some kinds of social insects live in large groups or colonies in which different members of the colony have different tasks to keep the colony running smoothly. Some members of the colony are responsible for providing appropriate food for the entire colon v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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