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Using a computer everyday may have negative effects than positive on children Do you agree or disagree v.2

Using a computer everyday may have negative effects than positive on children v. 2
With the technological advancements, it has been seen that computers have gained more popularity as compare to past. Most of people consider that excessive usage of this on a daily basis may have adverse impact on the children. I think it has more cons than pros on the development of child. To begin with, no doubt computer is a treasure of information and enhance mental and visual skills of children. If they spend most of time on computers then they do not get time to pursue other activities. Although this stage of life is most essential for the growth and development but they do not give priority to outdoor activities which directly impairs their physical growth. Furthermore, this indoor activity have not only impacts on their eye vision but it also weaken the muscle of hands due to its repetition. For example it is published by the health organisation that using computer addictively give birth to many health disorders. Moreover, children who are using computer on a continuous basis may lack social skills. They usually hesitate to meet people as they prefer to spend their time on games and videos rather than hanging out with near and dear ones. Thus, it brings lack of affection between them. Besides this, these children are so indulge on this equipment and influenced by external factors like fashion, status etc. They started believing that their elders are good for nothing and develop anti social behavior in them. In conclusion, overusage of computer may have adverse impact on their holistic development so it should be monitored properly by parents.
With the technological advancements, it has been
seen
that computers have gained more popularity as compare to past. Most of
people
consider that excessive usage of this on a daily basis may have adverse impact on the
children
. I
think
it has more cons than pros on the development of child.

To
begin
with, no doubt computer is a treasure of information and enhance mental and visual
skills
of
children
. If they spend
most of time
on computers then they do not
get
time to pursue other activities. Although this stage of life is most essential for the growth and development
but
they do not give priority to outdoor activities which
directly
impairs their physical growth.
Furthermore
, this indoor activity have not
only
impacts on their eye vision
but
it
also
weaken
the muscle of hands due to its repetition. For
example it
is published
by the health
organisation
that using computer
addictively
give birth to
many
health disorders.

Moreover
,
children
who are using computer on a continuous basis may lack social
skills
. They
usually
hesitate to
meet
people
as they prefer to spend their time on games and videos
rather
than hanging out with near and dear ones.
Thus
, it brings lack of affection between them.
Besides
this, these
children
are
so
indulge
on this equipment and influenced by external factors like fashion, status etc. They
started
believing that their elders are
good
for nothing and develop
anti social
behavior in them.

In conclusion
,
overusage
of computer may have adverse impact on their holistic development
so
it should
be monitored
properly
by parents.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Using a computer everyday may have negative effects than positive on children v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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