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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on people. D o you agree or disagree? v.2

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on people. D o you agree or disagree? v. 2
People are becoming technophile nowadays. Hence, the computer usage has been surging in comparison to past time. Although, there are several pros and cons associated with it that affecting the people detrimentally. Firstly, this essay will 90 % concur and 10% not concur with the above notion due to the more cons than pros and secondly, discuss those up and downside of using the computer frequently. On the one hand, the computer has made folks life easier by reducing the load of carrying a physical form of the materials such as notebooks, textbook and so on. Owning to the fact that the laptop or tablet has a a capacity to store the enormous data on his hard disk. For example, according to the UK university survey, 90% of the students have habits of storing e-copies of their academic materials. Therefore, this is the most considerable pros of using a laptop. On the other hand, frequent use of the electronic device makes a person addicted to it that could lead to emerge a devastating effect on a person's fitness. Because, addiction to something results in developing neurological issues such as depression, violent behaviour which could be life threatening to some extent. For instance, a study from the USA appliances found that 70% of the people sent to rehabilitation centres as they were having an addiction of using electronic devices. In conclusion, the electronic device like a laptop indeed plays a vital role in everyone's daily life. But, if used with caution, the negative effects on people could be tackled to some extent. Thus, to descend the detrimental impact of using the computer, the regime and individuals have to work together as a team.
People
are becoming technophile nowadays.
Hence
, the computer usage has been surging
in comparison
to
past time
. Although, there are several pros and cons associated with it that affecting the
people
detrimentally
.
Firstly
, this essay will 90 % concur and 10% not concur with the above notion due to the more cons than pros and
secondly
, discuss those up and downside of using the computer
frequently
.

On the one hand, the computer has made folks life easier by reducing the load of carrying a physical form of the materials such as notebooks, textbook and
so
on. Owning to the fact that the laptop or tablet has
a a
capacity to store the enormous data on his
hard
disk.
For example
, according to the UK university survey, 90% of the students have habits of storing e-copies of their academic materials.
Therefore
, this is the most considerable pros of using a laptop.

On the other hand
, frequent
use
of the electronic device
makes
a person addicted to it that could lead to emerge a devastating effect on a person's fitness.
Because
, addiction to something results in developing neurological issues such as depression, violent
behaviour
which could be life threatening to
some
extent.
For instance
, a study from the USA appliances found that 70% of the
people
sent
to rehabilitation
centres
as they were having an addiction of using electronic devices.

In conclusion
, the electronic device like a laptop
indeed
plays a vital role in everyone's daily life.
But
, if
used
with caution, the
negative
effects on
people
could
be tackled
to
some
extent.
Thus
, to descend the detrimental impact of using the computer, the regime and individuals
have to
work together as a team.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on people. D o you agree or disagree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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