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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effect on your children. Do you agree or disagree with it? Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.1

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effect on your children. with it? Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v. 1
Nowadays, modern technology is dramatically growing every year, accepting a laptop could lead to advantages and disadvantages impact on young people, I agree with that, and I will extend my opinion. Firstly, children who use computers have a tendency to improve their skills. Secondly, young children who spend too much time in front of the computer have decreased communication skills and physical activity. On the one hand, using a computer for youngsters could have a positive effect outweigh the drawbacks in the education area. Moreover, using the internet on computer children could develop their autonomous learning, such as independent research of applying syntheses sources rather than rote learning. As a result, they could improve their academic achievements to supplement and add to knowledge, where students are assimilating via the computer. Rarely do people realize the importance that children accept the computer in the academic field has a meaningful contribution to their further education as a golden opportunity. For example, some educational institutions provide wide chooses of different online courses such as math, science, graphics, photography, and more that are developing their skills. On the other hand, children prefer suffering the internet, or playing video games could lead to some issues as communicate face to face with their peers and a sedentary lifestyle in the long run. Hence, children have some health problems due to they stay at home and, then, do not go outside and play with their friends. Moreover, youngsters decline the experience of socializing peers, that means misunderstanding between each other in some situations. If children were not to communicate with their peers when they young, they would get some mental issues in the future. For an instant, in the USA, children solve their problems by using handguns at schools. In conclusion, I firmly convinced that children could accept the computer at home. The reason for this is that young people could improve their educational skills; however, adults should provide control of using it.
Nowadays, modern technology is
dramatically
growing every year, accepting a laptop could lead to advantages and disadvantages impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that, and I will extend my opinion.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spend too much time in front of the computer have decreased communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and physical activity.

On the one hand, using a computer for youngsters could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect outweigh the drawbacks in the education area.
Moreover
, using the internet on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could develop their autonomous learning, such as independent research of applying syntheses sources
rather
than rote learning.
As a result
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their academic achievements to supplement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to knowledge, where students are assimilating via the computer. Rarely do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
realize the importance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
accept the computer in the academic field has a meaningful contribution to their
further
education as a golden opportunity.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational institutions provide wide chooses of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
online courses such as math, science, graphics, photography, and more that are developing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer suffering the internet, or playing video games could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues as communicate face to face with their peers and a sedentary lifestyle in the long run.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems due to they stay at home and, then, do not go outside and play with their friends.
Moreover
, youngsters decline the experience of socializing peers, that means misunderstanding between each other in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were not to communicate with their peers when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental issues in the future. For an instant, in the USA,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
solve their problems by using handguns at schools.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could accept the computer at home.
The reason for this is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
;
however
, adults should provide control of using it.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effect on your children. with it? Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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