Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities sholud encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities sholud encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. v. 2
Nowadays, university undergraduates have a tendency to undertake any particular subject for study. Thus, it it thought by many people that educational institutions ought to motivate learners to acquire knowledge of different courses. I completely agree with the given notion and this essay intends to analyse why it is pivotal for students to learn a variety of subjects. There are several reasons for which students should study a number of subjects. Firstly, the most of the subjects are linked to each other to some extent. With a range of knowledge, students can find different solutions to approach the problems they encounter either at work or in life. Secondly, if learners concentrate only on one subject, then they might get exhausted and may lose interest from learning. Therefore, it is pivotal for them to study other subjects as well, in order to alleviate stress and to maintain enthusiasm of studying. Furthermore, in today's competitive era, employers tend to recruit candidates with versatile wisdom, who can handle multiple responsibilities at a time. Thus, to get a secure job it is inevitable for the undergraduates to have an exposure of diverse subjects. Besides this, if students do not get a job in their field, then they will be able to get any occupation related to their other subjects. In this way, learners will not suffer unemployment and they will not be stuck in menial jobs despite being highly qualified. To conclude, in my opinion, it is indeed essential for the students to instill knowledge of a variety of subjects as it can be beneficial in terms of employment and developing problem solving skills as well as maintaining the potential of learning.
Nowadays, university undergraduates have a tendency to undertake any particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for study.
Thus
,
It seems you either mean "it is", "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that educational institutions ought to motivate learners to acquire knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
courses. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion and this essay intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
why it is pivotal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn a variety of subjects.

There are several reasons for which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Firstly
, the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are linked
to each other to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. With a range of knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
solutions to approach the problems they encounter either at work or in life.
Secondly
, if learners concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, then they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exhausted and may lose interest from learning.
Therefore
, it is pivotal for them to study other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as well
, in order to alleviate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and to maintain enthusiasm of studying.

Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive era, employers tend to recruit candidates with versatile wisdom, who can handle multiple responsibilities at a time.
Thus
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a secure job it is inevitable for the undergraduates to have an exposure of diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Besides
this, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in their field, then they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any occupation related to their other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In this way, learners will not suffer
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unemployment and
they will not
be stuck
in menial jobs despite being
highly
qualified.

To conclude
, in my opinion, it is
indeed
essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to instill knowledge of a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as it can be beneficial in terms of employment and developing problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as maintaining the potential of learning.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities sholud encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts