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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we he more auspicious of their benefits? v.5

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we he more auspicious of their benefits? v. 5
Computers are a relatively new invention. The first computers were built fifty years ago and it is only in the last thirty or so years that their influence affects our everyday life. Personal computers were introduced as recently as the early eighties. In this short time they have made a tremendous impact on our lives. We are now so dependent on computers that it is hard to imagine what things would be like today without them. You have only got to go into a bank when their main computer is broken to appreciate the chaos that would occur if computers were suddenly removed world-wide. In the future computers will be used to create bigger and even more sophisticated computers. The prospects for this are quite alarming. They will be so complex that no individual could hope to understand how they work. They will bring a lot of benefits, but they will also increase the potential for unimaginable chaos. They will, for example, be able to fly planes and they will be able to coordinate the movements of several planes in the vicinity of an airport. Providing all the computers are working correctly, nothing can go wrong. If one small program fails — disaster. There is a certain inevitability that technology will progress and become increasingly complex. We should, however, ensure that we are still in a position where we are able to control technology. It will be all too easy to suddenly discover that technology is controlling us. By then it might be too late, I believe that it is very important to be suspicious of the benefits that computers will bring and to make sure that we never become totally dependent on a completely technological world.
Computers are a
relatively
new invention. The
first
computers
were built
fifty years ago and it is
only
in the last thirty or
so
years that their influence affects our everyday life. Personal computers
were introduced
as recently as the early eighties. In this short time they have made a tremendous impact on our
lives
. We are
now
so
dependent on computers that it is
hard
to imagine what things would be like
today
without them. You have
only
got
to go into a bank when their main computer
is broken
to appreciate the chaos that would occur if computers were
suddenly
removed world-wide.

In the future computers will be
used
to create bigger and even more sophisticated computers. The prospects for this are quite alarming. They will be
so
complex that no individual could hope to understand how they work. They will bring
a lot of
benefits,
but
they will
also
increase the potential for unimaginable chaos.
They
will,
for example
, be able to
fly
planes and
they will be able to coordinate the movements of several
planes
in the vicinity of an airport. Providing all the computers are working
correctly
, nothing can go
wrong
. If one
small
program fails — disaster.

There is a certain inevitability that technology will progress and become
increasingly
complex. We should,
however
, ensure that we are
still
in a position where we are able to control technology. It will be all too easy to
suddenly
discover that technology is controlling us. By then it might be too late, I believe that it is
very
important
to be suspicious of the benefits that computers will bring and to
make
sure that we never become
totally
dependent on a completely technological world.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we he more auspicious of their benefits? v. 5

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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