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University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. v. 1
Academy improvement should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some people believe that academy literacy should be limited to a minority of the excellent academic students, rather than having wider access to a majority of young people. I am of the opinion that it is a good idea for tertiary curricular to be available to most learners. One of the most obvious reasons why people should be easily accessible to educational institution science after high schools is that a college student prepares most young people to meet high – level qualifications. Indeed, employers expect to recruit employees with at least one degree in a competitive working environment today. Doubtlessly, academy graduates with fundamental theoretical knowledge can quickly adapt to their jobs and helps nations develop many important realms. Furthermore, I strongly believe that broadening opportunities to enter universities reduce the shortage of brain worker resources. According to recent reports in the New York Times newspapers, the sufficiency of brain workers has positive effects such as the expansion of potential enterprises, the development of working environment and the increase of industrial innovations. As a result, many nations can accelerate these beneficial impacts thanks to the efficient provision of graduate labour force. It is argued that only the very best academic students with high marks can acquire tertiary knowledge. However, having good marks does not guarantee whether students are intelligent or not because they usually study studiously. Obviously, curricula in universities are different from those with lower discipline because learners can deal with many practical projects. Therefore, students with poor academic performances can expand their mind and success if they learn in their desirable majors in universities. To conclude, I totally agree that academy training should be available to a large proportion of your people because a college schooling provides students with a steady foundation for future jobs. The educational institution, qualifications and knowledge enable students to achieve their goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academy
improvement should
be restricted
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
rather
than being available to a large proportion of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To what extent do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree?

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
literacy should
be limited
to a minority of the excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
rather
than having wider access to a majority of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I am of the opinion that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for tertiary curricular to be available to most learners.

One of the most obvious reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
easily
accessible to educational institution science after high schools is that a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
prepares most young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
high
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
level qualifications.
Indeed
, employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to recruit employees with at least one degree in a competitive working environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Doubtlessly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
graduates with fundamental theoretical knowledge can
quickly
adapt to their jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
nations develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
realms.

Furthermore
, I
strongly
believe that broadening opportunities to enter universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the shortage of brain worker resources. According to recent reports in the New York Times newspapers, the sufficiency of brain workers has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects such as the expansion of potential enterprises, the development of working environment and the increase of industrial innovations.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations can accelerate these beneficial impacts thanks to the efficient provision of graduate
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force.

It
is argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with high marks can acquire tertiary knowledge.
However
, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks does not guarantee whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are intelligent or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
study
studiously
.
Obviously
, curricula in universities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from those with lower discipline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
learners can deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical projects.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performances can expand their mind and success if they learn in their desirable majors in universities.

To conclude
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
training should be available to a large proportion of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a college schooling provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a steady foundation for future jobs. The educational institution, qualifications and knowledge enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to achieve their goals.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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