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in some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone now a days than in the past. do you think this is a positive or negative develo v.1

in some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone now a days than in the past. do you think this is a positive or negative develo v. 1
In this scientific era, it is noticeable that many men and women chooses to live separately from their families in recent years. Many new phenomena had risen up with the development, Thus, this one may be very dangerous and have serious negative impact on the growth of nations. In my opinion, I believe that the drawback of people choosing to live alone outcome its benefits. On one hand, choosing to live alone lead to isolation which is proven to be one of the main reasons behind depression. After a long, stressful day in school or work, it is very recommended to have a relaxed conversation with someone. Thus, it necessary to encourage humans to maintain a healthy relation with their sibling, this may be their key for balanced societies. For instance, it is reported by a recent survey released by US that the rate of people lives alone and attempt to commit suicide is higher that those how lives in families. On the other hand, it cannot be denied that living alone may provide people with extra free time that can be used for most work and lead to new innovation. Although spending time with other people may look very attiring, it may result in losing precious useful time even if it is unwitting. For example, watching evening movies with families can take up to 2 or 3 hours that can be invested more usefully. In conclusion, it is primordial to encourage people to live in groups rather then alone. In order to achieve development, it is necessary to have a productive worker. This may be negatively impacted by isolation.
In this scientific era, it is noticeable that
many
men
and women chooses to
live
separately
from their families in recent years.
Many
new phenomena had risen up with the development,
Thus
, this one may be
very
dangerous
and have serious
negative
impact on the growth of nations. In my opinion, I believe that the drawback of
people
choosing to
live
alone
outcome its benefits.

On one hand, choosing to
live
alone
lead to isolation which
is proven
to be one of the main reasons behind depression. After a long, stressful day in school or work, it is
very
recommended to have
a relaxed conversation with someone.
Thus
,
it
necessary to encourage humans to maintain a healthy relation with their sibling, this may be their key for balanced societies.

For instance
, it
is reported
by a recent survey released by US that the rate of
people
lives
alone
and attempt to commit suicide is higher that those how
lives
in families.

On the other hand
, it cannot
be denied
that living
alone
may provide
people
with extra free time that can be
used
for most work and lead to new innovation. Although spending time with other
people
may look
very
attiring, it may result in losing precious useful time even if it is unwitting.
For example
, watching evening movies with families can take up to 2 or 3 hours that can
be invested
more
usefully
.

In conclusion
, it is primordial to encourage
people
to
live
in groups
rather
then
alone
. In order to achieve development, it is necessary to have a productive worker. This may be
negatively
impacted by isolation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay in some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone now a days than in the past. do you think this is a positive or negative develo v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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