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University education should be made free to everyone regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

University education should be made free to everyone regardless of income. v. 2
It is argued by some people that learning in the university should be made free of charge for everybody. I completely agree with this view because it gives poor children a chance at higher education and helps the economy of a country in the long term. One of the main reasons why I believe studying at university level should be free is that children who are not financially capable would be able to attend. Higher institution fees are usually expensive, this makes it almost impossible for students from poor backgrounds to afford them. Moreover, if advanced training is made to be without any cost, people would be able to attend irrespective of their financial background. Hence all children would have an equal chance at achieving their goals. For example, the former president of the united states of America, Barrack Obama, enjoyed free education in the university. It would have been difficult to become the president without a that type of privilege. Free higher institution training also contributes significantly to a nation's economic development. When education is made available for everybody without any financial implication, more students would enrol in universities. This would result societies having more educated people and the majority of the workforce would be intellectuals. This would help to advance the economic growth of a nation. For instance, countries like Sweden, Finland and Germany have developed economically significantly over the past decade, and research has shown that their free education policies are vital factors in their development. In conclusion, I believe that university education should be without cost so that children without good financial support can access higher education. Also, free learning at these institutions helps to grow a country's economy.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that learning in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should
be made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge for everybody. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a chance at higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the economy of a country in the long term.

One of the main reasons why I believe studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not
financially
capable would be able to attend. Higher institution fees are
usually
expensive, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it almost impossible for students from poor backgrounds to afford them.
Moreover
, if advanced training
is made
to be without any cost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to attend irrespective of their financial background.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would have an equal chance at achieving their goals.
For example
, the former
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
president of the united states
of America, Barrack Obama, enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. It would have been difficult to become the president without a that type of privilege.

Free higher institution training
also
contributes
significantly
to a nation's economic development. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is made
available for everybody without any financial implication, more students would enrol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. This would result societies having more educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the majority of the workforce would be intellectuals. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to advance the economic growth of a nation.
For instance
, countries like Sweden, Finland and Germany have developed
economically
significantly
over the past decade, and research has shown that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
policies are vital factors in their development.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be without cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
financial support can access higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
learning at these institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to grow a country's economy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay University education should be made free to everyone regardless of income. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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