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Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 2
The transportation system is the art of most economic growth of a nation. It is argued that instead of the government spending on a lot of roads, they should focus mainly on the railway means of transportation. However, I strongly agree with this argument because it will ease lots of congestion on the road. Peril of the railway transport system is minimal to the masses. Unlike the road system where every driver is the king, trains are navigated by experts, and resulting in less accidents to the public in general. Another reason is the amount spend on trains, tracks, and its maintenance is less compared to main roads. To illustrate, the number of trains, or rail accidents are negligible in comparison to vehicles. Therefore, it is not dangerous to the public, and easy to maintain. Furthermore, railway is among the fastest means of transportation. Not only is this fast, but also conveys more passengers than the other types. In addition, the exhaust gas that escape from trains goes directly into the air, and the passengers are safe from its smoke. For example, the average passenger a train carries while in transit, could not be achieved by the vehicles, that is the trip a train would go, could cover for three times or more trips of road transport (buses, cars, lorries, and lots more). As a result, spending a lot on the railway will accelerate the growth of the economy. In conclusion, although road transport has its own benefits which could need the allocation of the government, railroad has more merit the state can derive to bolster. Nonetheless, I completely agree on government spending more on rail line than roads.
The transportation system is the art of most economic growth of a nation. It
is argued
that
instead
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spending on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, they should focus
mainly
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
means of transportation.
However
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of congestion on the road.

Peril of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
transport system is minimal to the masses. Unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
system where every driver is the king,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are navigated
by experts, and resulting in
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun accidents is countable.
less
accidents to the public
in general
. Another reason is the amount spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
, and its maintenance is less compared to main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. To illustrate, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
, or rail accidents are negligible
in comparison
to vehicles.
Therefore
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the public, and easy to maintain.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
is among the fastest means of transportation. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
conveys more passengers than the other types.
In addition
, the exhaust gas that escape from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
goes
directly
into the air, and the passengers are safe from its smoke.
For example
, the average passenger a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
carries while in transit, could not
be achieved
by the vehicles,
that is
the trip a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
would go, could cover for three times or more trips of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transport (buses, cars, lorries, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
more).
As a result
, spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
will accelerate the growth of the economy.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transport has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits which could need the allocation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, railroad has more merit the state can derive to bolster. Nonetheless, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spending more on rail line than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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