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As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.3

As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 3
Since majority of people spend their considerable amount of their time at a work, job satisfaction has become instrumental in the well-being of an individual. Pride, self-respect and appreciation are some of the reasons for job fulfilment, while getting it in reality is a far away dream for fewer staff, because of the unemployment and the need of money to feed the family. Employees get work fulfilment in a number of ways, to begin with, a job is more than a pay cheque, which needs to be a source of pride and self-respect. Additionally, feeling valued, valuable work, positive feedback and training opportunities develop skills, that regard to sense of progression and purpose that reward a worker. Furthermore, a sense of belonging to a team or working community also adds to a work satisfaction, as colleagues help each other while enjoy working lives. For example, according to the recent survey, 80% people agreed that they would stick to a job if valued by manager and offers opportunities to progress. However, hard economic realities means many people have a little choice for getting a right job. In the same cases an employee is working in a work that suit neither to their skills nor to their personality. Furthermore, the money earned is just enough to pay their living expenses, which often mean going through periods of discontentment. For instance, a poll online stated the 70% of people would leave a job, if it were not for money. In conclusion, even though it is unlikely for everyone feeling content with a job, it is not unrealistic to promote job satisfaction in any field. If above factors are implemented, any job can be improved to create greater degrees of job fulfilment.
Since
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their considerable amount of their time at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction has become instrumental in the well-being of an individual. Pride, self-respect and appreciation are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
, while getting it in reality is a far away dream for fewer staff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unemployment and the need of money to feed the family.

Employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
in a number of ways, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is more than a pay
Possible spelling mistake. 'cheque' is British English.
cheque
, which needs to be a source of pride and self-respect.
Additionally
, feeling valued, valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback and training opportunities develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, that regard to sense of progression and purpose that reward a worker.
Furthermore
, a sense of belonging to a team or working community
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
satisfaction, as colleagues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other while enjoy working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, according to the recent survey, 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that they would stick to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if valued by manager and offers opportunities to progress.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
economic realities means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
choice for getting a right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In the same cases an employee is working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that suit neither to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
nor to their personality.
Furthermore
, the money earned is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pay their living expenses, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mean going through periods of discontentment.
For instance
, a poll online stated the 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, if it were not for money.

In conclusion
,
even though
it is unlikely for everyone feeling content with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it is not unrealistic to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction in any field. If above factors
are implemented
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to create greater degrees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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