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Maintaining public libraries is a waste of time since computer technology is now replacing their functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of time since computer technology is now replacing their functions. v. 1
It is undeniable that the use of technology is constantly increasing in all spheres of lives. Therefore, some people believe that the public libraries has been substituted by the computers in this techno-savvy era. This essay will argue why the maintenance of public libraries is entirely necessary despite some potential benefits of the technology in terms of To begin with, the existence of libraries will always be intact as these are the source of vast knowledge so that computers and the Internet could never replace them. The libraries are funded by the government in order to educate their citizens as these are considered as calm and quiet place to learn, even senior citizens are much concerned towards libraries and they come to the library regularly in order to update their knowledge about their surroundings. Indeed, there have some recorded instances of people who preferred to study in the libraries as they feel connected to themselves being in the concentrated environment. These few instances make it clear that the role of libraries even in the modern era of scientific inventions would be worthwhile in many ways. Despite this, the use of technology is progressively rising in all areas. The versatility of technology makes it convenient to grab the information related to anything, just in one click, as the world of internet is so gigantic. Moreover, e-books also available online so in that case the role of the library is almost negligible because most of the young generation tends to choose internet in order to find the information. For example, one research article suggests that internet superseded the role of libraries by 70%. Overall, the idea of insisting towards technology over the libraries could potentially lead towards the convenience. To conclude, this essay argued that people who are favoured the extinction of libraries have a flawed understanding because both have their own unique roles and at the same time having concerns with maintaining these building for getting knowledge is an absolute imperative.
It is undeniable that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
constantly
increasing in all spheres of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the public libraries has
been substituted
by the computers in this techno-savvy era. This essay will argue why the maintenance of public libraries is
entirely
necessary despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in terms
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the existence of libraries will always be intact as these are the source of vast knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that computers and the Internet could never replace them. The libraries
are funded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in order to educate their citizens as these
are considered
as calm and quiet place to learn, even senior citizens are much concerned towards
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
libraries and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the library
regularly
in order to update their knowledge about their surroundings.
Indeed
, there have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recorded instances of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who preferred to study in the libraries as they feel connected to themselves being in the concentrated environment. These few instances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of libraries
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "evens"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'even' is not always incorrect.)
even
in the modern era of scientific inventions would be worthwhile in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

Despite this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
progressively
rising in all areas. The versatility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it convenient to grab the information related to anything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in one click, as the world of internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
gigantic.
Moreover
, e-books
also
available online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in that case
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of the library is almost negligible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the young generation tends to choose internet in order to find the information.
For example
, one research article suggests that internet superseded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of libraries by 70%.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of insisting towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
over the libraries could
potentially
lead towards the convenience.

To conclude
, this essay argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
the extinction of libraries have a flawed understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
and at the same time having concerns with maintaining these building for getting knowledge is an absolute imperative.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Maintaining public libraries is a waste of time since computer technology is now replacing their functions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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