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Travelling is the one of most important experience of human's life. People gain practical experience while they travel from one place to another. It also increase there surviving skill by travelling to new places. What some people think that they lik v.1

Travelling is the one of most important experience of human's life. People gain practical experience while they travel from one place to another. It also increase there surviving skill by travelling to new places. What some people think that they lik v. 1
The recreational activities which youngsters are engaged in these days bear little resemblance to those which previous generations loved. Instead of running around in the playground, schoolchildren today are far more likely to be found staring into a smartphone screen. The reasons for this shift in behaviour and the question of whether it should concern us both merit discussion. The move away from physical activity and towards electronic gaming has been driven by various factors. Firstly, technological advances have undoubtedly made computer games more realistic. Moreover, the fact that it is possible to play online with others adds an attractive social element. It should also be noted that electronic gadgets are pervasive, meaning that children regard their use as natural. Finally, in many cases, parents prefer their offspring to be more secure at home rather than being outdoors, potentially in danger. Whether this behaviour is beneficial or not is debatable. In addition to the aforementioned benefits, it is argued that children develop their creativity through these activities. They can inhabit imaginary worlds, experiment and take risks without having to deal with the consequences. However, experts insist that excessive gaming leads to addiction, isolation, the inability to cope with reality, and mental or emotional illnesses including depression and schizophrenia. It is not uncommon to read reports of under- eighteens locked in their bedrooms almost permanently, unwilling to eat properly because of their gaming obsession. Lastly, we should not lose sight of the fact that so- called traditional sports promote fitness whilst playing online is detrimental to physical health. Electronic gaming has become increasingly widespread and has probably outstripped traditional sporting pastimes in terms of popularity. Nothing can be done to reverse this trend. Whilst gaming is enjoyable and beneficial in some respects, I would urge parents and guardians to ensure that youngsters also spend time competing in actual physical sports such as athletics and rugby.
The recreational activities which youngsters
are engaged
in these days bear
little
resemblance to those which previous generations
loved
.
Instead
of running around in the playground, schoolchildren
today
are far more likely to
be found
staring into a smartphone screen. The reasons for this shift in
behaviour
and
the question of whether
it should concern us both merit discussion.

The
move
away from physical activity and towards electronic
gaming
has
been driven
by various factors.
Firstly
, technological advances have
undoubtedly
made computer games more realistic.
Moreover
, the fact that it is possible to play online with others
adds
an attractive social element. It should
also
be noted
that electronic gadgets are pervasive, meaning that children regard their
use
as natural.
Finally
, in
many
cases, parents prefer their offspring to be more secure at home
rather
than being outdoors,
potentially
in
danger
.

Whether this
behaviour
is beneficial or not is debatable.
In addition
to the aforementioned benefits, it
is argued
that children develop their creativity through these activities. They can inhabit imaginary worlds, experiment and take
risks
without having to deal with the consequences.
However
, experts insist that excessive
gaming
leads to addiction, isolation, the inability to cope with reality, and mental or emotional illnesses including depression and schizophrenia. It is not uncommon to read reports of under- eighteens locked in their bedrooms almost
permanently
, unwilling to eat
properly
because
of their
gaming
obsession.
Lastly
, we should not lose sight of the fact that
so
- called traditional sports promote fitness whilst playing online is detrimental to physical health.

Electronic
gaming
has become
increasingly
widespread and has
probably
outstripped traditional sporting pastimes in terms of popularity. Nothing can
be done
to reverse this trend. Whilst
gaming
is enjoyable and beneficial in
some
respects, I would urge parents and guardians to ensure that youngsters
also
spend time competing in actual physical sports such as athletics and rugby.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Travelling is the one of most important experience of human's life. People gain practical experience while they travel from one place to another. It also increase there surviving skill by travelling to new places. What some people think that they lik v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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