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TOPIC # 50 Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v.1

TOPIC # 50 Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 1
It is true that every country has its own culture, and there has been a debate on whether visitors should follow the local culture or the cultural differences should be accepted. This essay will examine both opinions and show my own perspective, which is the local culture has to be prioritized. The main reason that some people say outsiders should follow cultural rules is that it is the best way to avoid any unpredictable conflict. To illustrate, in my country, Japan, everyone needs to take off their shoes inside. If foreigners did not do so, Japanese people will get angry and be demotivate to welcome them. However, this is not an inevitable trouble if they learn about the culture. Therefore, understanding and following the local culture is crucial to avoid any trouble. On the other hand, others claim that cultural differences should be embraced. The major reason for this is that more tourists can be expected if they allow them more freedom. For example, it is religiously not allowed to drink alchol in Muslim countries, and this can be a reaon that prevents potential travelers from visiting there. However, it is important to raise tourists' satisfaction in order to promote tourism. This is why some people say that countries whose rules are too strict to visitors should allow them to behave freely. In conclusion, considering both views, I tend to believe that visitors should respect and follow the local culture. Although I admit that cultural diversity should not be ignored, following the local culture is beneficial and safe for both visitors and locals.
It is true that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, and there has been a debate on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. This essay will examine both opinions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be prioritized
.

The main reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say outsiders should follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
is that it is the best way to avoid any unpredictable conflict. To illustrate, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, Japan, everyone needs to take off their shoes inside. If foreigners did not do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
angry and be demotivate to welcome them.
However
, this is not an inevitable trouble if they learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Therefore
, understanding and following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is crucial to avoid any trouble.

On the other hand
, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences should
be embraced
. The major reason for this is that more tourists can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them more freedom.
For example
, it is
religiously
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to drink
Possible spelling mistake found.
alchol
in Muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and this can be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
reaon
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
potential travelers from visiting there.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to raise tourists' satisfaction in order to promote tourism. This is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are too strict to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to behave
freely
.

In conclusion
, considering both views, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should respect and follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Although I admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
diversity should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is beneficial and safe for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TOPIC # 50 Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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