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Many people are using credit card or loans to run up personal debts that the may be unable to pay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money.

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most of people have a credit card a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this goid idea or is it too risky? v. 2
Nowadays, there is a popularization of the availability of credit cards or obtaining a loan from banks among the population. This has led to the fact that a large number of people, who are in debt, sometimes cannot handle the amount they had taken. It is believed that Organizations should modify the process of granting loans to individuals. In my opinion it has its pros and cons. On the one hand, there are some advantages if organisations would reshape their loan granting policy. Firstly, the financial literacy would growth among population due to people would learn more how to cope with expenses as well as evaluate their needs. Secondly, it would decrease the poverty because people would be forced to work harder to get what they want. As a result the crime rate because of money would also be reduced. From banks perspective of view they would get paying customers which would prevent loses and increase its income. On the other hand, the are no less disadvantages. For instance it might increase the mental health issue consecutively products would not be available to purchase. People would need to borrow money from inappropriate places such as companies which provide a require amount of money fast with the highest interest. Whereas banks would lose its clients because of the problem process. I believe that organisation should develop the system which would allows them to evaluate clients with faster way in order to prevent debts. However, they should also create available offerces for people with low-income.
Nowadays, there is a popularization of the availability of credit cards or obtaining a loan from banks among the population. This has led to the fact that
a large number of
people
, who are in debt,
sometimes
cannot handle the amount they had taken. It
is believed
that Organizations should modify the process of granting loans to individuals. In my opinion it has its pros and cons.

On the one hand, there are
some
advantages if
organisations
would reshape their loan granting policy.
Firstly
, the financial literacy would growth among population due to
people
would learn more how to cope with expenses
as well
as evaluate their needs.
Secondly
, it would decrease the poverty
because
people
would
be forced
to work harder to
get
what they want.
As
a result the crime rate
because
of money would
also
be
reduced
. From banks perspective of view they would
get
paying customers which would
prevent
loses and increase its income.

On the other hand
,
the are
no
less
disadvantages. For
instance it
might increase the mental health issue
consecutively
products would not be available to
purchase
.
People
would need to borrow money from inappropriate places such as
companies
which provide a
require
amount of money
fast
with the highest interest.
Whereas
banks would lose its clients
because
of the problem process.

I believe that
organisation
should develop the system which would
allows
them to evaluate clients with faster way in order to
prevent
debts.
However
, they should
also
create available
offerces
for
people
with low-income.
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IELTS essay Many people are using credit card or loans to run up personal debts that the may be unable to pay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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