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Television programs and movies have become saturated with violent content. What are some resulting social problems and how can we deal with them? v.1

Television programs and movies have become saturated with violent content. What are some resulting social problems and how can we deal with them? v. 1
Today’s people are surrounded with a bulk of television programs, movies, or TV series with various contents. Violence is one of the ubiquitous themes in the film industry and along with huge interest of the audience, it paves the way for some serious problems. This issue will be discussed in this essay along with some possible solutions that can be implemented in order to alleviate the problem. One of the problems of utmost importance is that people who watch films or TV programs that contains violent scenes can be inclined to do similar violation of the law, such as robbery or murder attempts, because beholders of the films think that it is something as easy as in films. One thing they do not understand is that real life is far more different than those in movies. Take a worldwide famous Spanish made TV series called “La Casa De Papel”, or in English, “Money Heist” as an example. In this tv show, a group of people gather and crate a gang and with Salvador Dali masks on their faces, rob Bank of Spain with a genius, quite long-prepared plan of the character called El Professor. It is not surprising that after these tv series, different people from different part of the world tried to do robbery with the same red jumpsuits and Dali masks. The only solution here, it seems, is to make public awareness about the differences between films and real life. People should understand that not all real life scenarios finish with a happy ending and taking an example by movies is not such a good idea. It is obvious that films with violent contents cannot be banned, because myriad of people who watch them correlate with the characters and want to watch them. Furthermore, prevention of films with violence will damage the film industry completely. Therefore, public understanding is the most convenient solution, in my opinion. To sum up, the main issue that violent content in movies brings about is a tendency to commit crime, but it can be addressed when people realize the difference between life and the movies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are surrounded
with a bulk of television programs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, or TV series with various contents. Violence is one of the ubiquitous themes in the film industry and along with huge interest of the audience, it paves the way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems. This issue will
be discussed
in this essay along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions that can
be implemented
in order to alleviate the problem.

One of the problems of utmost importance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films or TV programs that contains violent scenes can
be inclined
to do similar violation of the law, such as robbery or murder attempts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
beholders of the films
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is something as easy as in films. One thing they do not understand is that real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. Take a worldwide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Spanish made TV series called “La
Possible spelling mistake found.
Casa
De Papel”, or in English, “Money Heist” as an example. In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gather and crate a gang and with Salvador Dali masks on their faces, rob Bank of Spain with a genius, quite long-prepared plan of the character called
Possible spelling mistake found.
El
Professor. It is not surprising that after these
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
series,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world tried to do robbery with the same red jumpsuits and Dali masks.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution here, it seems, is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
public awareness about the differences between films and real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should understand that not all real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
scenarios finish with a happy ending and taking an example by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is not such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. It is obvious that films with violent contents cannot
be banned
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them correlate with the characters and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them.
Furthermore
, prevention of films with violence will damage the film industry completely.
Therefore
, public understanding is the most convenient solution, in my opinion.

To sum up, the main issue that violent content in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
brings about is a tendency to commit crime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be addressed
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS essay Television programs and movies have become saturated with violent content. What are some resulting social problems and how can we deal with them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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