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Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? v.1

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 1
Rapid industrialisation in the city makes the people uncomfortable.  city is becoming shortens because of rapid industrialization and globalisation. Some people believe that moving to the countryside will help employees and also companies This essay will discuss why displacing to a small town is very much essential these days.  Some people believe that moving to the countryside will help both the employees and companies. First, and foremost the increasing number of population in the city making it inconvenient to each other. It is better to move to small towns which have less population, which will be an easy job, especially if the job location is nearer to our living place then it is far easier for us. For instance, nowadays in the cities, people travel a small amount of distance for large hours. If they situate the living place of the workmen nearby or besides the workplace, it helps him to work longer and healthier as there is immense traffic in the city the one cannot travel even the distance is less.  In addition, if they shift the employees to the countryside, they can work peacefully. Employees can make their work time more flexible. Many people in the city are living in Apartments in multi storied buildings rather than Independent houses because of the lack of sites. The company should Shift to no-traffic zone areas and which there can provide to their employees a traffic free zone for their economies work. Therefore, the efficiency of their work improves a lot. As freight is one of the major aspect of disturbance to the worker or employee, for example out of a research 75% of workers are having a long downturn because of these present circumstances If the residential issues and traffic minimises then the worker can more concentrate on the work. In conclusion, I believe that the workers and the company could shift to the calm and pleasant town side area.
Rapid
industrialisation
in the city
makes
the
people
uncomfortable.  
city
is becoming shortens
because
of rapid
industrialization
and
globalisation
.
Some
people
believe that moving to the countryside will
help
employees
and
also
companies
This essay will discuss why displacing to a
small
town is
very
much
essential
these days.  
Some
people
believe that moving to the countryside will
help
both the employees and
companies
.

First
, and foremost the increasing number of population in the city making it inconvenient to each other. It is better to
move
to
small
towns which have less population, which will be an easy job,
especially
if the job location is nearer to our living place then it is far easier for us.
For instance
, nowadays in the
cities
,
people
travel a
small
amount of distance for large hours. If they situate the living place of the workmen nearby or
besides
the workplace, it
helps
him to
work
longer and healthier as there is immense traffic in the city the one cannot travel even the distance is less.  
In addition
, if they shift the
employees
to the countryside, they can
work
peacefully
.
Employees
can
make
their
work
time more flexible.
Many
people
in the city are living in Apartments in multi storied buildings
rather
than Independent
houses
because
of the lack of sites.

The
company
should Shift to no-traffic zone areas and which there can provide to their
employees
a traffic free zone for their economies
work
.
Therefore
, the efficiency of their
work
improves
a lot. As freight is one of the major aspect of disturbance to the
worker
or
employee
,
for example
out of a research 75% of
workers
are having a long downturn
because
of these present circumstances If the residential issues and traffic
minimises
 then the
worker
can more concentrate on the work.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
workers
and the
company
could shift to the calm and pleasant town side area.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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