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Traffic and housing problem in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside To what extend do you agree or disagree v.1

Traffic and housing problem in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside v. 1
It is very clear that, everyone should have house for living in the city or countryside. Nowadays, most of the buildings are constructed in cities and towns and no place is available to build new homes. While some people believe that not to build new comes in the countryside and need to protect the area. In this essay, I will support my view with examples. Firstly, cities or towns are fully occupied by homes, it is clear and no place to build new homes. The culture of the cities is occupied by all region people. For example, if more people residing in a concrete jungle, then it will impact to weather conditions. People clear all the trees and building the apartments and gated communities. As a result, we cannot get pure breath and air pollution and sound will increase rapidly. Because it will effect to your health, mainly older people and children. Secondly, the rural area is the best place to leave. We need to protect the environment. For example, if you live in outside of the cities, your lifespan will increase. If you look at a countryside lot of greenery like public parks and forests. So you will get good air and very less pollution, either air or sound. The majority of the people like to live in a village. The countryside people will do the farming. It will give more economic conditions of the country. If you start building the home in a village area, it will impact the environmental conditions. In the conclusion, it is very clear to everyone's responsibility to protect the countryside for our environment and not to build new homes. In my opinion, we should protect our country in all aspects like economical, environmental, and people's health. So not to encourage to build new homes in the countryside.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clear
that, everyone should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for living in the city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Nowadays, most of the buildings
are constructed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns and no place is available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the area. In this essay, I will support my view with examples.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or towns are
fully
occupied by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clear
and no place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. The culture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is occupied
by all region
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in a concrete jungle, then it will impact to weather conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clear
all the trees and building the apartments and gated communities.
As a result
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pure breath and air pollution and sound will increase
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
to your health,
mainly
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and children.

Secondly
, the rural area is the best place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. We need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the environment.
For example
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, your lifespan will increase. If you look at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
lot of greenery like public parks and forests.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
air and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less pollution, either air or sound. The majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a village. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will do the farming. It will give more economic conditions of the country. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building the home in a village area, it will impact the environmental conditions.

In the conclusion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clear
to everyone's responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
for our environment and not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. In my opinion, we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
our country in all aspects like economical, environmental, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
not to encourage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problem in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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