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Traffic and housing problems in major cities can be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Traffic and housing problems in major cities can be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 2
these days with increasing urban populations, there are major problems with congestion and not only the price but also availability of accommodation in large cities of the world. It seems that one possible solution could be to relocate large companies and factories as well as their respective employees out of these urban areas and into more rural ones. I strongly agree that this would have a positive effect in making cities more livable. To begin with, the traffic problem in cities doesn’t only exist from commuting employees, but also the general public travelling around the city. While this may be a fact, if the number of worker’s vehicles is reduced on city streets, a large percentage of traffic will obviously decline in rush hours. For example, peak hour traffic is undoubtedly made up largely of staff from companies going to and from home. Secondly, in regards to housing problems, populations will always continue to grow in cities and therefore inadvertently decrease the number of cheap and available apartments. this is certainly obvious, however, a large proportion of these apartments are occupied by employees from large firms and their families. if this workforce is relocated to housing estates in the country, city apartment blocks will fall in price and certainly increase in availability. In conclusion, by relocating workers to rural areas to work and reside, heavy traffic conditions and lack of adequate accommodation in city centres will obviously change for the better. As far as I’m concerned, I agree that the government should enforce such a law in order to increase our standard of living in our hectic city life.
these
days with increasing urban populations, there are major problems with congestion and not
only
the price
but
also
availability of accommodation in
large
cities
of the world. It seems that one possible solution could be to relocate
large
companies
and factories
as well
as their respective employees out of these urban areas and into more rural ones. I
strongly
agree
that this would have a
positive
effect in making
cities
more livable.

To
begin
with, the
traffic
problem in
cities
doesn’t
only
exist from commuting employees,
but
also
the
general public
travelling around the city. While this may be a fact, if the number of worker’s vehicles is
reduced
on city streets, a
large
percentage of
traffic
will
obviously
decline in rush hours.
For example
, peak hour
traffic
is
undoubtedly
made up
largely
of staff from
companies
going to and from home.

Secondly
,
in regards to
housing problems, populations will always continue to grow in
cities
and
therefore
inadvertently
decrease the number of
cheap
and available apartments.
this
is
certainly
obvious,
however
, a
large
proportion of these apartments
are occupied
by employees from
large
firms and their families.
if
this workforce
is relocated
to housing estates in the country, city apartment blocks will fall in price and
certainly
increase in availability.

In conclusion
, by relocating workers to rural areas to work and reside, heavy
traffic
conditions and lack of adequate accommodation in city
centres
will
obviously
change
for the better. As far as I’m concerned, I
agree
that the
government
should enforce such a law in order to increase our standard of living in our hectic city life.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems in major cities can be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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