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Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree? v.6

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 6
With the increase in human population globally, traffic and housing problems are increased. Some people believe that we can tackle the problems of traffic and housing by moving large companies to the countryside. According to me, it could solve some problems and this essay will discuss about the same. Many large companies have their headquarters in the cities and as a result of which cities are always crowded. The local trains and other public transports are always crowded with the employees travelling within the city to reach their offices. It would be beneficial for other civilians if the companies could be moved to the countryside. For example, the roads and trains will not be much crowded as most of the people will go out of the city for work. Moreover, there are many large factories which contribute to air pollution on a huge scale. Due to the limited space in the cities, there are not many trees to tackle the problem of air pollution. It will not only solve the problem of traffic and housing, but also will help in improving the air quality index. For example, if the factories are moving to the countryside, the traffic on the roads will be decreased and as there are many trees in the countryside, the problem of pollution can be solved too. To sum up, there is no denying the fact that the problem of traffic and housing can be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. It will not solve traffic problems, but also improve the air, thus will lead to a healthy life.
With the increase in human population globally,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are increased
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that we can tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing by moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it could solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
same.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have their headquarters in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
as a result
of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are always crowded. The local trains and other public transports are always crowded with the employees travelling within the city to reach their offices. It would be beneficial for other civilians if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
For example
, the roads and trains will not be much crowded as most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will go out of the city for work.

Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
factories which contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution on a huge scale. Due to the limited space in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trees to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. It will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality index.
For example
, if the factories are moving to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
on the roads will
be decreased
and as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trees in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of pollution can
be solved
too.

To sum up, there is no denying the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing can
be solved
by moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, factories and their employees to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. It will not solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
,
thus
will lead to a healthy life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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