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Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 5
There is an opinion that relocating large scales businesses such as companies, industrial organizations and the people working for them to the rural area could help reduce traffic congestion and accommodation issues. However, I disagree with this viewpoint because as much as people still commute to work on a daily basis and the number of vehicles that apply on the road does not reduce, traffic and housing challenges will not be resolved. To begin with, although movies factories would create more space to build more houses for people to live, commuting daily to the rural area where they work still results to traffic in peak hours. This means that employees who work in these remote areas would had to face the hassle of being stuck on their way to work. In Anambra State, for example, people live in Onitsha while they work in Umuchu factories. Despite these factory is inside a village, there is still house shortages in town and also, traffic congestions every morning and evening which causes stress to the employee. Clearly, relocating the industries did not solve traffic and accomodation issues. Furthermore, provided the people continues buying cars to help them transport conveniently, traffic congestions will not reduce. In other words, the road will not contain the same volume of cars in transit which it initially contains even if companies are relocated. To illustrate, survey shows that there is an increase in sales of automobiles and car owners confirmed that the primary aim of buying cars is to ease stress especially while going to work. Consequently, increasing the traffic on the road despite relocating large scale businesses. In conclusion, I strong refute the idea that moving companies and industries to romote areas would reduce traffic and housing shortages. Provided people have to go to work on a daily basis and the number of vehicle on the road is on the increase, then there will be traffic and house shortages. Therefore, that is not the solution to the problem.
There is an opinion that relocating large scales businesses such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, industrial organizations and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working for them to the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and accommodation issues.
However
, I disagree with this viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
commute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on a daily basis and the number of vehicles that apply on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing challenges will not
be resolved
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, although movies factories would create more space to build more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, commuting daily to the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
still
results to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
in peak hours. This means that employees who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in these remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
had
to face the hassle of
being stuck
on their way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anambra
State,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onitsha
while they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Umuchu
factories. Despite
Did you mean "this factory" or "these factories"?
these factory
is inside a village, there is
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
shortages in town and
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions every morning and evening which causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to the employee.
Clearly
, relocating the industries did not solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
issues.

Furthermore
, provided the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
continues
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them transport
conveniently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
will not contain the same volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in transit which it
initially
contains even if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are relocated
. To illustrate, survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there is an increase in sales of automobiles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners confirmed that the primary aim of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
especially
while going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Consequently
, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
despite relocating large scale businesses.

In conclusion
, I strong refute the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that moving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and industries to
Possible spelling mistake found.
romote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and housing shortages. Provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on a daily basis and the number of vehicle on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is on the increase, then there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
shortages.
Therefore
,
that is
not the solution to the problem.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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