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tpo7. task2. Some people enjoy taking risks and trying new things Others are not adventurous: they are cautious and prefer to avoid danger. Which behavior do you think is better? Explain why. v.1

tpo7. task2. Some people enjoy taking risks and trying new things Others are not adventurous: they are cautious and prefer to avoid danger. Which behavior do you think is better? Explain why. v. 1
Due to the advancement of technology if you want to get information then an internet is an important source. However, Some people believe that museums are used to preserve history. In my opinion, I disagree with this point as it demand more money to maintain this. To begin with, if we store historical things in museum needs continuous monitoring and also maintain the record that which museum keeps record of what item. Moreover, the Government has to keep it open all the time so people can visit these places otherwise they avoid to visit such place if having only a limited time period. Survey related to this conducted in India says that people want to acquire information in a fraction of time while in museum, they have to spend a large time even in some scenario they also have to stand in a queue. On the other hand, using the internet person can get an idea about any historical place or an information about any culture is easily available to any part of the world. In other words, they can also access this same information as many times as they want. Even details you get from the internet is more so if you are doing research on some culture than it provides wider information and also do the comparison with other cultures. In conclusion, the museum can be used as a storage of historical items, it needs more attention and money of government which can also be used for other recreational activity; that will be found from as internet.
Due to the advancement of technology if you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
then an internet is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to preserve history. In my opinion, I disagree with this point as it demand more money to maintain this.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we store historical things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
needs continuous monitoring and
also
maintain the record that which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
record of what item.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it open all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can visit these places
otherwise
they
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid visiting".
avoid to visit
such place if having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period. Survey related to this conducted in India says that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scenario they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stand in a queue.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, using the internet person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about any historical place or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about any culture is
easily
available to any part of the world. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they can
also
access this same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
as they want. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from the internet is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if you are doing research on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
culture than it provides wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
also
do the comparison with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a storage of historical items, it needs more attention and money of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
recreational activity; that will
be found
from as internet.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo7. task2. Some people enjoy taking risks and trying new things Others are not adventurous: they are cautious and prefer to avoid danger. Which behavior do you think is better? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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