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tpo6. task2. Talk about a photograph or painting you have seen that was memorable. Explain what you liked or disliked about it. v.1

tpo6. task2. Talk about a photograph or painting you have seen that was memorable. Explain what you liked or disliked about it. v. 1
In less developed countries, the lack of educational provision for children in rural areas is a serious issue. While there are strong arguments that installing more computers and extending internet connection could help to tackle this problem, I believe that the top priority should be to build more schools and employ more teachers. On the one hand, providing computers and wider internet connection for remote rural areas is important. Firstly, internet access offers an unlimited source of information. Therefore, it is possible for pupils in rural communities to take advantage of distance learning educational programmes, giving them the same opportunities as children in city schools. Secondly, the introduction of computers enables children to acquire IT skills. It is evident that without such skills, pupils cannot learn how to use Microsoft Office or search for information online, abilities which will increase their future employment prospects. On the other hand, I agree with those who contend that it is better to provide more schools and teachers in rural areas. The principal reason is that teachers play a vital role in the early stages of teaching basic literacy and numeracy, without which the computer and the internet are little more than playthings. In these early years, the teacher is a mentor who interacts directly with pupils, enlightens them and instils in them the value of learning. Another reason is that the more schools that there are in rural communities, the more likely is the realisation of the goal of universal education. With proper guidance from teachers, pupils can make the most of online resources, and the educational level in developing countries will be raised. In conclusion, I would argue that the provision of more schools and teachers is a vital first step in widening access to education for children in rural communities.
In less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, the lack of educational provision for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas is a serious issue. While there are strong arguments that installing more computers and extending internet connection could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle this problem, I believe that the top priority should be to build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and employ more teachers.

On the one hand, providing computers and wider internet connection for remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Firstly
, internet access offers an unlimited source of information.
Therefore
, it is possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities to take advantage of distance learning educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, giving them the same opportunities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Secondly
, the introduction of computers enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to acquire IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It is evident that without such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
cannot learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Microsoft Office or search for information online, abilities which will increase their future employment prospects.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who contend that it is better to provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas. The principal reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a vital role in the early stages of teaching basic literacy and numeracy, without which the computer and the internet are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than playthings. In these early years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is a mentor who interacts
directly
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
, enlightens them and
Possible spelling mistake. 'instils' is British English.
instils
in them the value of learning. Another reason is that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
that there are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities, the more likely is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'realisation' is British English.
realisation
of the goal of universal education. With proper guidance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most of online resources, and the educational level in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
will
be raised
.

In conclusion
, I would argue that the provision of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is a vital
first
step in widening access to education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo6. task2. Talk about a photograph or painting you have seen that was memorable. Explain what you liked or disliked about it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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