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TPO5. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, doing things they like to do, rather than doing things they should do. v.1

TPO5. People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, doing things they like to do, rather than doing things they should do. v. 1
Technology is an essential part of everyday life. There are many pros and cons of students learning computers, which are as follows. There are numerous perks of computers. Firstly, students with microcomputer knowledge not only gain international whereabouts, as well make them confident. Secondly, if the school includes computer as a part of the syllabus, then it will help students to prepare a project on their own. It will help them to gain access to E-books around the world and platform for exchange of talent across globe. Thirdly, grip on the workstation will come to aid while applying for a job. The employer provides primary preference to an employee with an expertise in Microsoft, power point presentation as well working under varied softwares. Conversely, there are many cons of the computer learning. Primarily, if at a tender age kid gets their hands on unadulterated material, then that might lead to online bullying, delinquency. They might misuse the information they received on the usage of online portals. Nowadays, online fraud has taken leaps and, they might become victim of forgery. Irrespective of advantages or disadvantages. As per the survey carried out by UNESCO in 2017, there are 80% of a pupil who does not have access to a computer. This unawareness can lead to illiteracy, access to outside information. In conclusion, I completely agree that, school should be included under study. Besides, there are amid benefits of a processor, although the command of the laptop should be provided under adult supervision to dispense maximum welfare of pupils.
Technology is an essential part of everyday life. There are
many
pros and cons of students learning computers, which are as follows.

There are numerous perks of computers.
Firstly
, students with microcomputer knowledge not
only
gain international whereabouts,
as well
make
them confident.
Secondly
, if the school includes computer as a part of the syllabus, then it will
help
students to prepare a project on their
own
. It will
help
them to gain access to E-books around the world and platform for exchange of talent across globe.
Thirdly
, grip on the workstation will
come
to aid while applying for a job. The employer provides primary preference to an employee with an expertise in Microsoft,
power point
presentation
as well
working under varied
softwares
.

Conversely
, there are
many
cons of the computer learning.
Primarily
, if at a tender age kid
gets
their hands on unadulterated material, then that might lead to online bullying, delinquency. They might misuse the information they received on the usage of online portals. Nowadays, online fraud has taken leaps and, they might become victim of forgery.

Irrespective of advantages or disadvantages. As per the survey carried out by UNESCO in 2017, there are 80% of a pupil who does not have access to a computer. This unawareness can lead to illiteracy, access to outside information.

In conclusion
, I completely
agree
that, school should
be included
under study.
Besides
, there are amid benefits of a processor, although the command of the laptop should
be provided
under adult supervision to dispense maximum welfare of pupils.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO5. People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, doing things they like to do, rather than doing things they should do. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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