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Choose one of your favorite methods to relax and explain why it is yourfavorite. Please include specific details in your explanation. v.1

Choose one of your favorite methods to relax and explain why it is yourfavorite. Please include specific details in your explanation. v. 1
It is often argued that the wage is the key aspect to make into consideration when people seek for a job. While I accept that the salary might be the most important, I also believe that there are a number of other factors which seem extremely vital. On the one hand, a well-paid job provides workers with a good standard of living, which is due to the fact that they receive a desirable amount of money. A career that is of a high salary would accommodate employees’ personal needs. A high wage, moreover, is perceived as of great motivation and influence upon the workers. Offered with an adequate income, workers also likely boost their productivity and performance at the office. For example, it is reported that a large percentage of the workforce, receiving better salary, outperformed their counterparts. On the other hand, other factors on which a job selection is based also play an essential role. To begin, people would enroll in a job if there were the presence of job satisfaction. It seems unlikely for people to partake in a career that has a poor reputation and working environment. One’s career option, furthermore, is attributed to the contribution which that job would bring towards society. A number of workers in humanitarian organizations such as the United Nations, Red Cross might be working mainly so as to spread positivity, send medical and domestic aid rather than receive a desirable salary. In conclusion, a high salary seems to be suitable for the majority of jobseekers. Other aspects, nevertheless, remain considered.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the wage is the key aspect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
into consideration when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seek for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While I accept that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
might be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I
also
believe that there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors which seem
extremely
vital.

On the one hand, a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of living, which is due to the fact that they receive a desirable amount of money. A career
that is
of a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
would accommodate employees’ personal needs. A high wage,
moreover
,
is perceived
as of great motivation and influence upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. Offered with an adequate income,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
also
likely boost their productivity and performance at the office.
For example
, it
is reported
that a large percentage of the workforce, receiving better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, outperformed their counterparts.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors on which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
selection
is based
also
play an essential role. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would enroll in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if there were the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. It seems unlikely for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to partake in a career that has a poor reputation and working environment. One’s career option,
furthermore
,
is attributed
to the contribution which that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would bring towards society. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in humanitarian organizations such as the United Nations, Red Cross might be working
mainly
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
spread positivity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
medical and domestic aid
rather
than receive a desirable salary.

In conclusion
, a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
seems to be suitable for the majority of
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobseekers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
aspects,
nevertheless
, remain considered.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Choose one of your favorite methods to relax and explain why it is yourfavorite. Please include specific details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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