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TPO49-The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily v.2

TPO49-The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily v. 2
Over the past few decades, the issue of whether the ability to keep longtime friendships in a small group is more significant to have pleasure than the ability to find new friends easily has received a great deal of attention from people and psychologists. Although some may argue that people who find new friends in a easy way have better ability to be happy, I as well as any others believe that the ability to retain the relationships with a few people but for a long time could bring happiness because they know each other well, and the following explanations wil further elaborate on this perspective. First and foremost, a paramount reason why it is better for the people to have the ability to keep their friends for a longtime is that having a few old friends could be helpful for their life. This means that people who own a old relationship with their firends can rely on them in different circumstances due to the reason that they know either each other' s interests or fears; so, they could satisfy themseleves by this knowledge. A further reason for this view is that, by keeping few friends for a long period, people are not enforced to conflict with their friends. Since the number of friends are low and they familiar with each other for a long time, they would have fewer contractions among each others. As a matter of fact, few friends with long relationship through the time could make much more in common due to the reason that would not invovle in a large number of ideas of distinctive people; thus, they would have pleasanet time with each other. Finally, it is occasionally said that trust is the more significant factor to have happy friendship and this would not be achieved but with the pass of the time. It is axiomatic that throughout the history people could not be able to trust to the large groups of people; therefore, they experienced that it is better for them to diminished their relationships' circle. Some experts believe that having a trust-based friendship chould bring them satisfaction due to the reason that not only are they not worried about their privacy but also they could open up themselves for their friends easily. In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, I can draw the concolusion that the ability to have a few friends but in a long period bring about happiness chiefly due to the reasons that this relationships are more trusful and pleasant.
Over the past few decades, the issue of whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
longtime friendships in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group is more significant to have pleasure than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to find new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
easily
has received a great deal of attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and psychologists. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who find new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Consider replacing "in a easy way" with the adverb for "easy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a easy way
have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to be happy, I
as well
as any others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to retain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
with a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could bring happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
well, and the following explanations
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
further
elaborate on this perspective.

First
and foremost, a paramount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why it is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a longtime
is that having a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
could be helpful for their life. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
firends
can rely on them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that they know either each
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s interests or fears;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they could satisfy
Possible spelling mistake found.
themseleves
by this knowledge.

A
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this view is that, by keeping few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not enforced to conflict with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Since the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
low and
they familiar with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they would have fewer contractions among each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. As a matter of fact, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much more in common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that would not
Possible spelling mistake found.
invovle
in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
thus
, they would have
Possible spelling mistake found.
pleasanet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.

Finally
, it is
occasionally
said that trust is the more significant factor to have happy friendship and this would not
be achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the pass of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It is axiomatic that throughout the history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not be able to trust to the large groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
therefore
, they experienced that it is better for them to diminished their
Possible spelling mistake found.
relationships&
#039; circle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that having a trust-based friendship
Possible spelling mistake found.
chould
bring them satisfaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they not worried about their privacy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they could open up themselves for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
easily
.

In brief
, contemplating all the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I can draw the
Possible spelling mistake found.
concolusion
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to have a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
period bring about happiness
chiefly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
trusful
and pleasant.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO49-The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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