Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 30-It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v.2

TPO 30-It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 2
Over the past few decades, the issue of whether employees should have a long hours job in three days instead of long hours job in five workdays has receieved a great deal of attention from wrokers and companies. Although some may argue that by having a three long hours work, people would be able to have more entertainment time during their rest of the week, I as well as many others believe that five workday with shourt hours would be more benefecial for the workers, and the following explanations will furthure elaborate on this perspective. First and foremost, a paramount reason why five work day with shorter hours is better for employees is that working for a long time could decrease the efficiency of the people. This means that the capability of the people to doing their work is limited so after a amount of time they would be tired; therefore, they would not be able to concentrate on their job. It is sometimes said that the appropriate amount of time for working are eight hours each day. Hence, the experts state that after spending more than this time on a specific job could augment to make mistakes. A further reason for this view is that for the people who have three days worday in a week returning to the work on the next week would be ardouos due to the reason that they were far away from their work space and after a couple of enjoyable days it would be difficult for them to concentrate on their starting workday. For instance, employees who work only three days a week and spend rest of their time on doing another project or entertaining, on their office their mind would be involve in the other projects so, the might not be able to be as adept as they can. Finally, it is occasionally said that having a routine life is more proper for most of the people due to the fact that they could have a routine schedule in their life. Take five wrokday employees as an example, if they decide to participate in a sport class, they would have free time on their evening since most of the sports club have a routine time for their attenders. As a result, three workday employees would not be able to attend the sports club since they would miss three days of the club schedule and they should work long hours on their work on these days. In brief, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, I can draw the conclusion that having a five daywork bur shorter hours is more beneficial for the people chiefly due to the reason that this desicion not only improve their lifestyle but also could help them to focus on their job better.
Over the past few decades, the issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in three days
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in five workdays has
Possible spelling mistake found.
receieved
a great deal of attention from
Possible spelling mistake found.
wrokers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that by having a three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to have more entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during their rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, I
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others believe that five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workday
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
shourt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
would be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefecial
for the workers, and the following explanations will
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthure
elaborate on this perspective.

First
and foremost, a paramount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day with shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is that working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could decrease the efficiency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This means that the capability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is limited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they would
be tired
;
therefore
, they would not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
said that the appropriate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for working are eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
each day.
Hence
, the experts state that after spending more than this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
could augment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes.

A
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this view is that for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have three days
Possible spelling mistake found.
worday
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
returning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
ardouos
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that they were far away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
space and after a couple of enjoyable days it would be difficult for them to concentrate on their starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workday
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and spend rest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on doing another project or entertaining, on their office their mind would be
Consider using the past participle "involved"?
involve
in the other projects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
might not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to be as adept as they can.

Finally
, it is
occasionally
said that having a routine life is more proper for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to the fact that they could have a routine schedule in their life. Take five
Possible spelling mistake found.
wrokday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as an example, if they decide to participate in a sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they would have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their evening since most of the sports club have a routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their attenders.
As a result
, three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to attend the sports club since they would miss three days of the club
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
schedule and
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on these days.

In brief
, contemplating all the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I can draw the conclusion that having a five
Possible spelling mistake found.
daywork
bur shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is more beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chiefly
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that this
Possible spelling mistake found.
desicion
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
better.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 30-It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
463 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts