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tpo43The man expresses his opinion about the change described in the article. Briefly summarize the change then state his opinion about the change and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

tpo43The man expresses his opinion about the change described in the article. Briefly summarize the change then state his opinion about the change and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
It is common that the news media is often covered by problems and suffering. Although I agree with the idea that this trend adversely impacts individuals and society, I think that its advantages should be mentioned. First, we should admit that the news on emergencies can save lives and reduce damage especially during natural disasters. The media often reports the emergent news on storm attacks or earthquakes, for example, or the state of emergency often is declared via the media to concerned audiences. In doing so, people being in danger can take corresponding actions to stay safe right away. Second, news reports on criminals and punishments can play a role in educating the public about justice, or it might deter people from committing crime, or people can know how to protect themselves from crime. However, I think that when the news is filled with social issues and emergencies, it sometimes does more harm than good. The detailed description of crimes can help criminals as a source of training to break the law. Moreover, the media sometimes exaggerates the real threat of emergencies or dramatises criminal incidents in pursuit of drawing the public’s attention and increasing audience ratings, thereby generating higher profit from advertising. This means that many people have been living in fear and panic of crime or danger because of the misleading information from the media. In conclusion, media reports on problems and emergencies can be informative for those who might be concerned, but the disadvantages are much stronger if the media focus too much on reporting those stories.
It is common that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
covered by problems and suffering. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that this trend
adversely
impacts individuals and society, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that its advantages should
be mentioned
.

First
, we should admit that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergencies
can save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
damage
especially
during natural disasters. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reports the emergent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on storm attacks or earthquakes,
for example
, or the state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
is declared
via the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to concerned audiences. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
can take corresponding actions to stay safe right away. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reports on criminals and punishments can play a role in educating the public about justice, or it might deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing crime, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can know how to protect themselves from crime.

However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is filled
with social issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergencies
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
does more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. The detailed description of crimes can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
criminals as a source of training to break the law.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
exaggerates the real threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergencies
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'dramatises' is British English.
dramatises
criminal incidents in pursuit of drawing the public’s attention and increasing audience ratings, thereby generating higher profit from advertising. This means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been living in fear and panic of crime or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the misleading information from the media.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
reports on problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergencies
can be informative for those who might
be concerned
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the disadvantages are much stronger if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
focus too much on reporting those stories.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay tpo43The man expresses his opinion about the change described in the article. Briefly summarize the change then state his opinion about the change and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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