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Most people do not care enough about environmental issues To what extent to do agree or disagree with this statement v.1

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues 1
As more and more people are shifting to modern communication methods like the internet and text messaging, some people believe that meeting people face to face will no longer be needed. In my opinion, while the technological advancements are happening at a rapid pace, they cannot completely replace face to face communication because it lacks emotional touch and authenticity. The primary reason for people to socialize is to feel the human connect and bond over conversations with like-minded people. While this is quite possible over social networking or even over a video call, the feeling of being physically surrounded by your loved ones is simply unmatched. In other words, physical communication holds an edge over digital communication as it also provides for the sense of touch which can never be experienced over internet calls. Secondly, many a times, communication over the internet can be unreal or fabricated. For instance, in an interview setting, the interviewee needs to be concerned about his looks and surroundings only so much as would be visible on screen. Furthermore, the interviewer can only rely on the interviewee’s face of his expressions and body language, but the same is not true for a face to face interview where entire body language can be assessed and therefore, is more authentic and real. To conclude, although high-speed internet and digital tools provide for a seamless connection across the world and are literally eliminating the physical boundaries, the pleasure of meeting someone in person and the reality attached to it can never be discounted.
As more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are shifting to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
methods like the internet and text messaging,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
will no longer
be needed
. In my opinion, while the technological advancements are happening at a rapid pace, they cannot completely replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it lacks emotional touch and authenticity.

The primary reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to socialize is to feel the human connect and bond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
conversations with like-minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While this is quite possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
social networking or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a video call, the feeling of being
physically
surrounded by your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones is
simply
unmatched.
In other words
, physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
holds an edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
as it
also
provides for the sense of touch which can never
be experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
internet calls.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the internet can be unreal or fabricated.
For instance
, in an interview setting, the interviewee needs to
be concerned
about his looks and surroundings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much as would be visible on screen.
Furthermore
, the interviewer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rely on the interviewee’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
of his expressions and body language,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same is not true for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interview where entire body language can
be assessed
and
therefore
, is more authentic and real.

To conclude
, although high-speed internet and digital tools provide for a seamless connection across the world and are
literally
eliminating the physical boundaries, the pleasure of meeting someone in person and the reality attached to it can never
be discounted
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people do not care enough about environmental issues 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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